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posted by Jeffersonian
Of 8th grade through College 'student reports':


Ancient Egypt was inhabited سے طرف کی mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an سیب, ایپل tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

Moses led the hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened روٹی which is روٹی made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

Actually, Homer was not written سے طرف کی Homer but سے طرف کی another man of that name.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

Joan of Arc was burnt to a سٹیک and was canonized سے طرف کی Bernard Shaw.

In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer.

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis ڈریک circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the سال 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid سے طرف کی Juliet.

Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The اگلے great مصنف was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity سے طرف کی rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

Abraham لنکن became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log کیبن which he built with his own hands. Abraham لنکن freed the slaves سے طرف کی signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, لنکن went to the theater and got shot in his نشست سے طرف کی one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Gravity was invented سے طرف کی Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

Beethoven wrote موسیقی even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven ختم مدت in 1827 and later died for this.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing سے طرف کی hand and started reproducing سے طرف کی machine. The invention of the سٹیمر, سٹیمر پر caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
added by Jeffersonian
added by r-pattz
posted by funnyshawna
Apparently, this is what I do when I'm tired and slightly depressed. Go figure.

101 Great Uses for Eye-Patches!

1.    Wear it to cover your eye.
2.    Wear it to cover the hole where your eye used to be.
3.    Use it to prevent a hole ever being where your eye should be.
4.    Wear it to shield your eye from insects and other flying material.
5.    Wear two and pretend آپ are blind.
6.    Wear none and pretend آپ can see.
7.    Wear them as sunglasses when rendezvousing...
continue reading...
Ever since I was little, me and my family always took trips upstate New York to the Catskills. We had this old beat-up trailer up there, it was probably around 50 years old at the time. It had a kitchen, a living room, a bathroom and two bedrooms. Back when all six of us, me, my two brothers, my parents, and my dog Chester went up there, me and my little brother, Joey, would have to sleep in the living room on the couches, as there were only two beds, one queen-sized بستر for my parents, and one single بستر for my older brother Tom.

Sleeping in the living room was the one part me and Joe hated...
continue reading...
added by Blaze1213IsBack
added by GDragon612
added by ShadowFan100
(I made this song for some دوستوں who're having trouble using the internet right now, enjoy! The song beat is from the song Fight For Your Right سے طرف کی The Beastie Boys.)

Guitar String

...

........

.....................

KICK IT!

You wake up, go on Fanpop, but your WiFi's low
You reset and beg, but your router says NO!
You missed two ڈیٹس اپ and a private message
But your WiFi's on the fritz, man what a presage....

YOU GOTTA FIGHT
FOR YOUR RIGHT
TO BROOOOOOWSE THE NET!

You ask what's up with all this delay
But your parents got no clue, it's basically doomsday
Maaaaan, livin' at ہوم is such a drag
Especially when...
continue reading...
added by 0YouCanFly0
added by Mollymolata
added by 3xZ
Source: disneyscreencaps.com
added by kicksomebut23
added by BlondLionEzel
Source: Google
added by tanyya
added by eternalsleep
video
funny
random
dancing
added by randomgirl3000
Source: deviantART
added by Tamar20