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1.    Unplug the refrigerator.
2.    Turn the تندور on.
3.    Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4.    Hide the remote.
5.    Hide the television.
6.    Hide the pets.
7.    Change the answering machine message.
8.    Turn off the answering machine.
9.    Change the speed dial numbers.
10.    Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11.    Add an extra goldfish to the goldfish bowl.
12.    Leave a condom wrapper under a sofa cushion.
13.    Make yourself a meal. Be polite and wash the dishes.
14.    See how much pay-per-view porn آپ can order in one day.
15.    Set the TiVo to record nothing but infomercials.
16.    Leave a note on their computer that says "Thanks for the files."
17.    Leave a note anywhere that says "I'll be back."
18.    Leave a note listing a website address. Set up a website and post a تصویر of yourself sitting on their toilet. (Don't forget to wear a ski mask.)
19.    Replace a crucifix with Mickey Mouse.
20.    Install video surveillance equipment. Leave a tape of yourself installing it.
21.    Paint "Helter Skelter" on a wall.
22.    Replace دیوار تصاویر with تصاویر of someone else's family.
23.    Replace products with similar products of a different brand. If they own Heinz ketchup, replace it with Hunt's. If they own Tide laundry detergent, replace it with All.
24.    Tie a nylon string across each doorway at shin level.
25.    Paint their bathrooms black.
26.    Paint their mirrors black.
27.    Paint their windows black.
28.    Nail their windows shut.
29.    Put a skeleton in a closet.
30.    Stuff a تکیا with live crickets. (Available at your local pet store.)
31.    Hang dead things from the ceiling.
32.    Wrap a miscellaneous animal organ in aluminum foil and leave it in the freezer.
33.    Empty the sugar container and replace it with Sweet & Low.
34.    Fill every glass in the باورچی خانے, باورچی خانہ cabinet with water. (They might not spill the سیکنڈ یا third glasses, but fill them all anyway.)
35.    Turn off the phone ringers.
36.    Leave the stereo, alarm clock, and ویژن ٹیلی volume set to maximum.
37.    Exchange the contents of two clothing drawers.
38.    Grease the banisters.
39.    Leave counterfeit paw prints up a wall, ending at a ceiling vent.
40.    Put a rubber اچار in the اچار jar. Replace the jar's label with a label identical in every way except for the phone number for complaints. (I could tell آپ what phone number to include, but why don't آپ figure it out?)
41.    Call for food delivery. Repeat two dozen times quickly before leaving.
42.    Make urine ice cubes.
43.    Pee in the shampoo.
44.    Take the book jackets off the hardcover کتابیں and put them around multiple copies of the same cheap book آپ purchased previously at a dollar store. If آپ can get copies of a book with blank pages, even better.
45.    Unscrew the light bulbs.
46.    Hide the toilet paper.
47.    Put their possessions into piles based on color.
48.    Make a bathtub full of iced tea.
49.    Bring in a small, battery-powered recording device. Turn it on and play a looping recording of a young girl whispering, "Jesus is coming." Unscrew a ceiling vent and throw it in as far as آپ can.
50.    Plant weeds in the flowerpots.

By: Jason Roth
posted by adaug
آپ can only live once, but if آپ do it right, once is enough. -Mae West.
I didn't believe that the first time I heard it,but one tiny mistake,can change your live...Forever.
April 19,1999.
The clock read 7:43,I got out of bed.I was late for school.When I left,I didn't say bye to mom یا dad.I just left.On the way there,I remembered a physics test I had to take,and if I failed it,I got an F in physics!So,at my lunch hour,I went to the library.I saw my two دوستوں already studying.I went over there and we started laughing and talking,but the librarian told us to be quiet.Then she went in the hall.Then...
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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!",a teen named Tessa screamed as she was falling down a hole.

Everyone gasped.

"NO!!!",her friend Dana yelled

"Tessa!",another friend,Martha shouted."No!No!No!No!No!No!!You still owe me 50 bucks,man!"

"That darn lady,she چرا لیا, چوری کی our money,man!",a cowboy said."What a shame"

"No..", a girl named Erica whispered.

"Oh my god!",cowboy said

Everyone sobbed."All that money!", a lady named Lisa wailed."No!!!!!!!"

"The money is gone,man!",Lisa's sister Sara whined.

The cowboy sighed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!",Martha screamed."MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!"
Bunker bustin' mega ultra super, ahh ahhh! Holy crap, ahh!
Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! K.O.!

One-up, power up, already leveled up
Options set to difficult, love a challenge, typical
Raging through my enemies, kicking پچھواڑے, گدا so happily
Supernova, bend آپ over, to the lava! game over!

I'm saying "Yay!" when I'm knocking آپ right off the stage,
B*tches hate but I don't play, smash a Goomba any day!
I'm on a mission, trying to save the princess!
Dashing, smashing, knock آپ outta commission!

I'm a killer like a Manson, you're blowin' like you're Hanson,
Your powers are weak when آپ go against me,
You...
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posted by MissChicky97
User: I'm the Doctor. I'm a timelord from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm 903 years old, and I'm the man who's gonna save your lives and all six billion people below.

Cleverbot: No you're not. You're saying random stock phrases which have no relevance whatsoever to what I say to you.

User: What? WHAT? WHAT?!?!?!

Cleverbot: How is you?

User: I'm trying to save the world and the TARDIS pulled up some random application.

Cleverbot: That is impossible. آپ have no means to do so. آپ cannot feel emotion.

User: OI! I can feel emotions. I'm not completely alien آپ know!!...
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It was Thursday.10:07 a.m.I got out of my bed,and went down for breakfast."Yeah,okay.Yes,yes I understand.Thanks for calling."Mom کہا and hung up the phone."Hi honey."She greeted."I'll be right back."Mom left the kitchen.I picked up my napkin when.CLING!I saw Alicia and Henry in my kitchen!"What the-Why did آپ do that?"I asked."You need to come to the درخت house!"Alicia demanded.
"The what?"I asked.
Henry and Alicia gasped.
"Get dressed and hurry!"Alicia demanded.
I ran to my room.I think I remembered the درخت house.I remember Maybelle.I remembered Ariana.I didn't quite remember the درخت house.I...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
One fine دن in the middle of the night two dead me got u to fight back to back they faced

eachother drew there swords and shot eachother

the deff policeman heard the noise and came to arrest thoughs two young boys if u dont believe me u know its true ask the blind man he saw to.


(i like that thing یا whatever u call it lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa im only puting this part because the مضمون is not long enough and blahblahblah and all that stuff and stuff and oh my god how long does it need to be)
11 year-old Sarah sat in her room.Brown hair.Blue eyes.And black boots."Sarah!Alicia is here!"Mom yelled."Bring her in!"Sarah said."Hey!"Alicia greeted."Ya ready?"She asked."Almost."She snapped the lid on her marker.Alicia whistled."Wo-ow!That's amazing!"She said.Admiring a Drawing of the fat words spelling out "Live.Love.Hope."."Come on!We're late!"Both girls ran outside."Bye mom!"Sarah کہا bounding out the door.The girls met 12 سال old Henry at a پیکن, پیکان tree."Hey!Step aside!I'll open it!"Sarah said,pushing Henry aside so she could put in the combination."Okay!Come up."Sarah کہا opening...
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1. they will sing his songs

2.they will blush when they here somone say his name یا talk about one of his new songs

3.they will have atleast one picture of him

4.gets upset if they cant go to one of his concerts

5. wont be afraid to say hes cool

6.listens to his موسیقی every night to go to sleep with

7.will ask آپ if آپ have heard his new song

8.screams if someone else says i love justin beiber

9.is always talking about a video they watched of him on youtube

10.will say they hate یا love whatever he does even if they hate it یا love it
I'm stupid.I'm 18 and I'm STILL afraid of tooth fairies.....my cousin(Not ANDY!),Edricle(Ed-ric.cle) use to tell me funny nonsense until one دن he came up with this idea the scare me.THE TOOOOOOOOOOTH FAIRY!!!One دن when I was watching the TV,he came up to me and said"hey,do u know why do tooth fairies take yr teeth?" I asked"why?"so he said"They take yr teeth and use super glue and glue them together to make dentures for OLD PEOPLE!!!" that kinda freaked me out and whenever I loose a teeth,I'll burry it in the ground at the backyard where my dad does his planting.That's when my dad found...
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There once was a girl named,Josie,Josie had black hair,she was a cop,she was 'bout 19,"Mom!!!WHERES MY PHONE?"Said Josie
"I DON'T KNOW!"Her mom said."FINE!I'll just go to my friend's apartment!WITHOUT CALLING!"Josie argued.
Josie drove to her friend's apartment."Kate!"She saw her friend lay dead on the سوفی, لٹانا with blood running down her face."OH MY GOD!HELP!!!!!911!"
- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - --- - ---
1 ماہ later,Josie tried to find out who killed her best friend.She later found out that she had a sister that was murdered in 1989.Her mom was dating a detective,So he helped her ."Okay,It...
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The start and the only chapter: "Oh my god there's a sale on MINISKIRTS Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" "Envy just SHUT UP!!!! آپ are a GUY NOT A GIRL!!!!" Lust yells at Envy as he stares at the miniskirt sale sign. "Hey آپ bums want simethin یا are آپ goin to keep starin in my store like a couple of freaks?" "Uh I guess that we can look around." "Come on Lust there is a sale on MINISKIRTS here lets go in and buy some MINISKIRTS!!!!!!!!!" Lust just groans as Envy dragged her in the store. "Um Lust?" "Yeah?" "Why is the Fullmetal Pipsqueak here?" "WHAT?!" "That voice, is that Envy and Lust? Al do آپ hear...
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 James
James
کیبن for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Nine: James

    I’m James Ricky Reese. I live with my little sister, Cassie, and my older brother (he’s a bum), Greg. I have a hot girlfriend named Chelsea and annoying parents named Kristi and Bobby.
     Anyways, I am singing my پسندیدہ song, 21 guns سے طرف کی Green دن whenever I hear the all American, annoying Beth scream. It’s not this scared, “It’s a spider” scream. It’s this really excited scream. “OH MY GOD HE’S COMING HERE TONIGHT!” I look over at her and expect her to be jumping up and down...
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کیبن for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Seven: Laken


    Hi! I’m Laken Reese Barenshsky. I’m 19 and I live with my parents and my 15 سال old brother, Jason. I have the most wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, Tori. She’s pretty, she has long brown hair, that’s naturally curly, brown eyes and her smile is gorgeous, like I’ve just been snapped with the sun! God, she’s sexy.
    “GOALLLLLLLL!” I scream whenever I kick the ناشپاتی, ناشپاتیاں into the side of this dumpster کی, ڈمپسٹر in the back of the store. Zack grumbles (because he’s a loser!) and we keep kicking this...
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posted by smileypop9
These مضامین are gonna be the thoughts on life and stuff, and this is part two.
I did this because I was bored, and because I wanna get my thoughts out.
---------

Rap in one word? Crap.
That's my opinion, so don't bash me.
.
Anyway, I hate that stupid drivel. Yeah ok, sorry kids, that I sound like your mother. But I really think that people who listen to rap could seriously use an update to their tunes.
Why would آپ wanna listen to موسیقی from people who wear their pants down to their knees, objectify women, and swear 24/7?
There's much better موسیقی available.
...
People who listen to rap are kinda...
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The Dr. Z!!
By: moolah
(Note: I’ve changed both me and my friend’s name for privacy. I have also changed the name of the school, and my [math] teacher )
[P.S: For Ellen’s part, I am just guessing what happened when I was in the bathroom!]
True Story.

Scene: Applebee’s
Time: 7:50
Why: My birthday dinner
Who: Tabby(me) and Ellen(my friend)
Tabby’s P.O.V
    I had to go to the bathroom, so my friend Ellen and I went to the Applebee’s bathroom, and I knocked on the one door to a stall. “YES HONEY!” A woman *I think* who sounded strangely like a man laughed as she spoke...
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The following is a very fake letter! Trust me!

To the people of the future,
    My name is Andrea Reese. I live in Burke Clouds. I live with my mom (Kayla), my dad (George), my cousin (Annie), my two sisters (Ally and Aria). I have a brother (Chance) who is 18 and in collage. He’s nice to me, unlike my friend, Alexis, brother. I love my family. I go to Franco Bud Rose Middle School. I am happy. But, I have a serious cancer. It has no none cure, no chemo can cure it. I’ve had it for a سال and a half and have been alive. My time is limited here, and I wanted to put this...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ingredients:
•4 cups steamed Japanese rice
•strips of dried nori (seaweed)
•salt to taste
•black sesame seeds
•*for fillings:
•ume (pickled plum) / grilled salted سامن, سالمن (small chunks) / kombu no tsukudani
Preparation:
Cook steamed rice. Put about a half cup of steamed چاول in a چاول bowl. Wet your hands in water so that the چاول won't stick. Rub some salt on your hands. Place the steamed چاول on your hand and put your پسندیدہ filling, such as kombu-no-tsukudani, umeboshi, and grilled سامن, سالمن on the rice. Push the filling into the چاول lightly. Hold the چاول between your palms. Form the چاول into a round, a triangle, یا a cylinder سے طرف کی pressing lightly with your both palms. Roll the چاول ball on your hands a few times, pressing lightly. لپیٹ, لفاف کریں the چاول ball with a strip of nori یا sprinkle some sesame seeds on them.
voice: NEW FROM WHAT EVA THIS IS IT IS....... THE WHAT EVER IT IS!!!!!!!! This is made in the USA (china) made totaly سے طرف کی americans (aliens) and it total IS NOT toxic!!!!!

Woman: I got my son the what ever it is for his berthday and he...

voice: LOVED IT!

Girl's friend: آپ got the what ever it is?

Girl: ya. And I could not LIVE without my what ever it is.

Girl's friend: what does it do?

Girl: I don't know. But I love it!

Voice: the what ever it is is only $20 plus $100 shiping and handleing! but if آپ call right now we will also send آپ a what ever آپ call it for double the price even though it is the same thing! we will also double it! Just pay $10000000 مزید dollers shiping and handleing! آپ GET IT ALL!!!!! the what ever it is , the what ever آپ call it! CALL NOW!!!

other voice: To get the what ever it it and what ever آپ call it have آپ credit cards ready and get ready for bankruptsey! CALL NOW!!!
posted by invadercalliope
CALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOO
OOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!
HI EVERYONE I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS THE THIRD EPISODE!
HURRAY!
TODAYS A VERY SPECAIL دن BECAUSE I AFISHALY!
WELL TODAY OUR GUEST سٹار, ستارہ IS......GIR!
BUM BUM B BUM!
Invader Calliope: HIIIIIII GIR!
Gir: HI!
Invader Calliope: Thats all آپ have to say! HI!
AT LEAST ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER WHEN HE WAS ON THE SHOW!
Gir: Sorry but it's hard to stay in character and
Invader Calliope: AND!?! GIR EVERYONE LOVES آپ THE MOST آپ HAVE THE MOST پرستار GIRLS AND ZIM STAYED IN CHARACTER!
Oh no we are out of time good bye now and in joy the suprise picture!
The End!
Ok,Here are thingz that a am interested in!
Enjoy
Ok here are the biggest things i enjoy: Invader Zim,Video Games,Anime,softcore music,yaoi!
Here are some فلمیں i am interested in:Invader Dib,9,The nightmare before x-mas,corpse bride,the ring,paranormal activity,some عملی حکمت movies,titanic
Here is some موسیقی i'm interestes in:Gir,Invader Zim sound track,anime music,theme songs in tv shows,marilyn manson,my chemical romance,tokyo hotel,bella morte,drowning pool,evanescence
Here are some کتابیں i'm interested in:Anything Jhonen Vasquez,Manga,Invader Zim comics,batman comic books,animal books