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posted by IsabellaMCullen
Found this on the net. If it's been گیا کیا پوسٹ here before (Because I'm not sure if it has) let me know and I'll remove it...


1. Go to order a large popcorn(like the biggest one they have). When they give it to you, look at it, then throw it on the floor angrily and start crying for no reason.

2. Wait until there's a funny part in the movie. When the laughter starts to die down, scream at the سب, سب سے اوپر of your lungs.

3. Before the movie starts, sit near the front. Start moaning loudly and dancing wildly.

4. At the end of the movie, when the credits are rolling, stand up quickly and try to convince everyone that there's a secret scene before the credits end. While everyone stays to watch the "Secret Scene"(which does not exist) stand up and leave without anyone noticing.

5. Pretend to cough wildly and die when the trailers are playing.

6. If the theater is packed and a stranger sits اگلے to you, go "Oh my god, is... is that you?" From here آپ can take many approaches. One is,"I haven't seen آپ in ages! Give your buddy a hug!" Another is,"You lying bastard! What the hell were آپ thinking?" Angrily اقدام to another نشست if آپ choose the latter.

7. Try to see how many pieces of پاپ کارن, پوپکارن آپ can put in the hair of the person in front of آپ without them noticing.

8. Come inside the theater in the middile of a movie. Walk along the front where evertone can see you. Trip and fall, then quietly slip out of the theater.

9. During the movie, keep turning around to look at the person behind آپ in an annoyed manner.

10. Get a group of دوستوں to walk into a theater as a crowd of zombies. Limp and moan your way to your seats.

11. Go to the front where آپ buy the tickets. Order tickets for 3 different فلمیں that all start at the same time. When the ticket seller asks آپ about this, walk out and don't come back.

12. Wear a really tall hat and sit in front of someone. When they ask آپ to take it off, take out a pair of scissors and start destroying the hat.

13. Wear and eyepatch and buy some popcorn. When your in the theater, ask everyone around آپ in a sinister voice(and a British accent) "Would you... would like some of my...my پاپ کارن, پوپکارن Sir یا Madame?" Say the Sir یا Madame part to everyone, even if آپ know if it's a man یا woman.

14. Shout one word: FIRE!!! Then run.

15. Sit in the back and bring a water bottle. In the middle of the movie, say very loudly, "Damn, when is this movie gonna end? Gotta pee. Gotta pee!" Open the water bottle slightly and spray the people near you.

16. Wait until someone sits اگلے to you. Wait a while, then pretend to fall asleep. Snore in an annoying way and drool as much as آپ can.

17. Get a cell phone and put the volume all the way up. Get the ringtone from the series 24 if possible. If آپ can't get that ringtone, get one that sounds very proffesional and serious. Have a friend call آپ during a quiet scene. Answer it loudly and say, "Damn it! They're here... right now? I knew this دن would come." Get up to leave and before آپ exit say, "Ladies and gentlemen, there's no need to be alarmed. Now I need آپ to listen to me. STAY IN THIS THEATER UNTIL I COME BACK." Then run out humming the Mission Impossible theme.

18. Near the end of the movie, say "Holy elevators Batman!" then run out.

19. Sit at the سب, سب سے اوپر and block the projection with your hand.

20. After the movie ends, run to the bathroom and sit on the floor and cry. Whe people ask what's wrong, tell them that the movie scared you(works even better if it was a comedy یا an animated film).
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posted by moodystuff449
I'M THINKING.... BUT NOTHING'S HAPPENING!

I'm not smiling at you, I'm just trying not to laugh. :)

I'm not lazy, I'm just happy doing nothing.

(*)Theres always a light at the end of a tunnel, just pray its not a train(*)

My imaginary friend thinks your crazy.

Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, آپ can be impossible?

Be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home.

Dont steal, the government hates competition.

Sarcasm is just one مزید service I offer.

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

Earn easy cash in your spare time سے طرف کی blackmailing friends.

Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Those who live سے طرف کی the sword get shot سے طرف کی those who don't.

I love cats... They taste just like chicken.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
posted by catgirl140
79 Things to do in an Elevator (Soooo funny)

1. Crack open your اٹیچی, بریف کیس یا handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the دیوار without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him یا her to call آپ Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I...
continue reading...
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with آگ کے, آگ at one end and a fool at the other!


MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master


LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either


CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied سے طرف کی the number present


COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force سے طرف کی which masculine will power is defeated سے طرف کی feminine water-power!...
continue reading...
NOT سے طرف کی ME~~~~~~♥♥♥

1. Don't tell us when آپ think other girls are hot.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever آپ have to say during commercials.
3. If آپ don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria's Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. We think about آپ ALL the time.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like آپ to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. We hate that آپ can eat all you...
continue reading...
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.

2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that آپ didn't ask the price for.

3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.


4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.


5. Pay for a large order in pennies.


6. Drive in circles around the drive through, ording just one item of your order each time آپ pass the window. For added fun,...
continue reading...
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