December 14, 2003
Dearest Dave,
I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a تیتر in a ناشپاتی, ناشپاتیاں tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been مزید surprised یا pleased darling!
With truly the deepest love,
Agnes
December 15, 2003
Dearest Dave,
Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted سے طرف کی your thoughtful and generous ways.
With all of my love,
Your Agnes
December 16, 2003
Dearest Dave,
You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what مزید should I expect from such a nice person.
Love,
Agnes
December 17, 2003
Dear Dave,
Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't آپ think that enough is enough? آپ are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 2003
Dearest darling Dave,
It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. آپ truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the گزشتہ days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, آپ managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 2003
Dear Dave,
When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 2003
Dave,
What is with آپ and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny آپ weirdo, so stop with the birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 2003
O.K. wise guy,
The birds were bad enough. Now what do آپ expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined سے طرف کی them, and I can't اقدام in my own house! Just lay off me یا you'll be sorry!
Agnes
December 22, 2003
ارے loser,
What are you? آپ must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!
You'll get yours!
Agnes
December 23, 2003
آپ rotten scum!!!
There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a دن all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! آپ creep! I'm sicking the police on you!
One who means it!
December 24, 2003
Listen آپ evil, sadistic, maniac!
What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death سے طرف کی the cows. I hope آپ are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 2003
The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear sir,
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which آپ have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If آپ attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot آپ on site.
Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
Dearest Dave,
I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a تیتر in a ناشپاتی, ناشپاتیاں tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been مزید surprised یا pleased darling!
With truly the deepest love,
Agnes
December 15, 2003
Dearest Dave,
Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted سے طرف کی your thoughtful and generous ways.
With all of my love,
Your Agnes
December 16, 2003
Dearest Dave,
You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what مزید should I expect from such a nice person.
Love,
Agnes
December 17, 2003
Dear Dave,
Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't آپ think that enough is enough? آپ are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 2003
Dearest darling Dave,
It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. آپ truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the گزشتہ days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, آپ managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 2003
Dear Dave,
When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 2003
Dave,
What is with آپ and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny آپ weirdo, so stop with the birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 2003
O.K. wise guy,
The birds were bad enough. Now what do آپ expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined سے طرف کی them, and I can't اقدام in my own house! Just lay off me یا you'll be sorry!
Agnes
December 22, 2003
ارے loser,
What are you? آپ must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!
You'll get yours!
Agnes
December 23, 2003
آپ rotten scum!!!
There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a دن all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! آپ creep! I'm sicking the police on you!
One who means it!
December 24, 2003
Listen آپ evil, sadistic, maniac!
What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death سے طرف کی the cows. I hope آپ are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 2003
The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear sir,
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which آپ have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If آپ attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot آپ on site.
Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
my friend sent me this text message a while پہلے and i thought it was hilarious!!!
i need to ask آپ somethingand i want آپ to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how آپ feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want آپ to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...
Pepsi یا Coke?
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
i need to ask آپ somethingand i want آپ to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how آپ feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want آپ to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...
Pepsi یا Coke?
Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
1.I like pie
2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.
3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.
4.Dog food is a beautiful thing to watch when آپ are eating!
5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!
6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.
7.Heeeeeeeloo!
8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.
9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
10. Fartblossom!
11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)
12. Your face is disorted when آپ sleeeeeep.
13. Bye کہا Santa while eating Blitzen.
2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.
3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.
4.Dog food is a beautiful thing to watch when آپ are eating!
5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!
6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.
7.Heeeeeeeloo!
8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.
9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
10. Fartblossom!
11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)
12. Your face is disorted when آپ sleeeeeep.
13. Bye کہا Santa while eating Blitzen.
Kiss On The Ear-You Are Special
Kiss On The Nose-Laughter
Kiss On The Cheek-Friendship
Kiss On The Forehead-I Comfort You
Kiss On The Neck-I Want You
Kiss On The Shoulder-You Are Wonderful
Kiss Anywhere Else-Be Careful
Play Around With Hair-Can't Live Without You
Holding Hands-Happiness
Arms Around Waist-You Are Mine,I Need You
A Hug-I Care
Nibble On Ear-Start Warming
Smiling At Each Other-I Like You
Lifting Eyebrows/Wink-Flirtation
Looking Around-Hiding True Feelings
Tender Kiss On The Side Of Your Lips-You're Mine
Wetting Your Lips-Waiting For A Kiss
Tear Drop-I'm Losing You
Crying-I Lost آپ