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posted by karpach_14
December 14, 2003


Dearest Dave,

I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a تیتر in a ناشپاتی, ناشپاتیاں tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been مزید surprised یا pleased darling!

With truly the deepest love,
Agnes

December 15, 2003

Dearest Dave,

Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted سے طرف کی your thoughtful and generous ways.

With all of my love,
Your Agnes

December 16, 2003

Dearest Dave,

You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what مزید should I expect from such a nice person.

Love,
Agnes

December 17, 2003

Dear Dave,

Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't آپ think that enough is enough? آپ are being too romantic.

Affectionately,
Agnes

December 18, 2003

Dearest darling Dave,

It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. آپ truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the گزشتہ days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, آپ managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!

All my love,
Agnes

December 19, 2003

Dear Dave,

When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.

Cordially,
Agnes

December 20, 2003

Dave,

What is with آپ and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny آپ weirdo, so stop with the birds.

Sincerely,
Agnes

December 21, 2003

O.K. wise guy,

The birds were bad enough. Now what do آپ expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined سے طرف کی them, and I can't اقدام in my own house! Just lay off me یا you'll be sorry!

Agnes

December 22, 2003

ارے loser,

What are you? آپ must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!

You'll get yours!
Agnes

December 23, 2003

آپ rotten scum!!!

There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a دن all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! آپ creep! I'm sicking the police on you!

One who means it!

December 24, 2003

Listen آپ evil, sadistic, maniac!

What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death سے طرف کی the cows. I hope آپ are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!

Your sworn enemy,
Agnes

December 25, 2003

The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois

Dear sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which آپ have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If آپ attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot آپ on site.

Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes آپ make me so mad i wanna throw آپ in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style آپ wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make آپ tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are آپ remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with آپ when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves آپ more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her دوستوں say i love her مزید than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary دوستوں that آپ talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If آپ want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while پہلے and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask آپ somethingand i want آپ to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how آپ feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want آپ to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi یا Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog food is a beautiful thing to watch when آپ are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when آپ sleeeeeep.

13. Bye کہا Santa while eating Blitzen.
posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall دیوار and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 سیکنڈ and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten منٹ intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people آپ can get to شامل میں in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department سے طرف کی sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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added by shiriny
posted by rAsberrStrarS
Kiss On The Lips-I Love You
Kiss On The Ear-You Are Special
Kiss On The Nose-Laughter
Kiss On The Cheek-Friendship
Kiss On The Forehead-I Comfort You
Kiss On The Neck-I Want You
Kiss On The Shoulder-You Are Wonderful
Kiss Anywhere Else-Be Careful
Play Around With Hair-Can't Live Without You
Holding Hands-Happiness
Arms Around Waist-You Are Mine,I Need You
A Hug-I Care
Nibble On Ear-Start Warming
Smiling At Each Other-I Like You
Lifting Eyebrows/Wink-Flirtation
Looking Around-Hiding True Feelings
Tender Kiss On The Side Of Your Lips-You're Mine
Wetting Your Lips-Waiting For A Kiss
Tear Drop-I'm Losing You
Crying-I Lost آپ
 Miku and Kaito
Miku and Kaito
20. Miku Hatsune and Kaito from "VOCALOID" I know it's kinda cheating because there voice synthesizers but there still animated in some of there موسیقی videos! There so cute together I had to put them on here.

19. Gakupo and Rin from "VOCALOID" I know I just did it again. But I love them مزید then Kaito and Miku so they have to be on this too and besides the only other guy is her twin brother and I don't like incest.
 Gakupo and Rin
Gakupo and Rin

18. Ion and Esther from "Trinity Blood" Oh god I love these two they start out hating each other then become close دوستوں یا maybe more...I'd like to think so....
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1. Q."Can I screw you?"
A.I would say: "No..."

2. Q/M."Would آپ mind if I read this?"*Holds up some porn magazine*
A. I would say: "I don't give a da**..."

3. Q/M. *Hugs آپ and takes a little something off آپ would like him not to*
A.I would slap him and say "Don't do that, da** it!"

4. Q. "Are آپ sure we can't f***?"
A. I would say: "If آپ say that agin...I swear I'm going to get ticked..."
5. Q. "That somehow arouses me..."
A. I would say:"Get aroused all آپ want, not like I care if آپ are یا aren't...As long as آپ don't jump around..."

6. Q. "I want to sign your shirt..."
A. I would say:...
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added by Rodz
Source: wallpaperstock
added by dramaqueen00
Source: I don't remember.....
added by moulan
added by aromate
added by emostan
FRIENDS: Lend آپ their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat یا drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why آپ have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents سے طرف کی Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, سے طرف کی Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail آپ out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting اگلے to آپ sayin "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen آپ cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else آپ cried...just laugh about it with آپ in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS:...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
CANCER
Your element: Water
Your ruling planets: The Moon
Symbol: The Crab
Your stone: Moonstone
Life Pursuit: Constant reassurance and intimacy
Vibration: Moody
Cancer's Secret Desire: To feel محفوظ (emotionally, spiritually, romantically

Description:
Those born under the sign of Cancer, ruled سے طرف کی the mysterious Moon, are one of the zodiac's enigmas. It is fair to say that most Cancers are a bundle of contradictions. Compassionate and caring with friends, family and lovers, yet they can cut to the bone with their jealous remarks and ever-changing moods. Endearingly eccentric on one hand, and on the other,...
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posted by youknowit101
(I felt this needed to be done publicly. If آپ don’t know what I’m talking about, well that sucks for you, doesn’t it? :p )

As some of آپ probably know, I went a little overboard when I learned that Cassie doesn’t like Green Day. I thought it was sheer ignorance and a blinded, snap judgment. I went off. I’m sorry.

Green دن is one of my پسندیدہ bands. The Killers are too. They’re both tied for first place, as a matter of fact. When Brandon کہا what he کہا about Green Day, it pissed me off, but I didn’t hold it against them. What really got to me was how the شائقین on both sides...
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