Cereal Guy

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The اگلے day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 سال old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If آپ can catch me, آپ can have me."

Without a سیکنڈ thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the اگلے four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs...

i wanna tell آپ something and آپ better listen good here.If there's something آپ really enjoy and آپ have a huge dream that your really passionate about then go after it.Don't be afraid to follow your دل because your دل will lead آپ to the right direction.Don't let anyone discourage آپ and idc who the heck they are.You are always going to meet 2 people in your life.One person will discourage آپ and tell آپ that آپ are never gonna make it and the other person will encourage آپ to follow آپ dreams and will believe in you.They will want آپ to follow your dreams.So listen to that...

I'm not trying to be abusive in any way, I just found this. I didn't write this.


Approximately 1-2% of humans, یا about two in 100 people in the world, have red hair.j
The ancient Greeks believed that redheads would turn into vampires after they died.i
Otherwise dark hair may turn red یا blond in cases of severe protein deficiency due to starvation.c
Red is the rarest hair color in humans
The most rare hair color in humans is red.b
During the Middle Ages, a child with red hair was thought to be conceived during “unclean sex” یا during menstruation.b
Red hair doesn’t gray as much as other hair...

This بتھ, مرغابی walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do آپ have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the بتھ, مرغابی leaves.

The اگلے day, the بتھ, مرغابی returns and asks, "Do آپ have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the بتھ, مرغابی leaves.

The دن after that, the بتھ, مرغابی walks in the store again and asks "Do آپ have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told آپ no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if آپ come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read سوالات aloud, debate your جوابات with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that آپ can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this سوال on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into...

Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make love with آپ
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until آپ find your contact lens.
Punch the body and tell people that he hit آپ first.
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask someone to take a snapshot of آپ shaking hands with the deceased.
At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
Ask the widow to give آپ a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask...