Steve Rogers / Captain America Scene

-when آپ ask someone for something and they try to annoy آپ because they have it and آپ don't

-school, you're there for 7 hours a day, they give آپ work آپ have to do at ہوم and آپ have almost no freedom

-JB, 1D, big time rush

-when your دوستوں call saying they'll come over and never دکھائیں up

-you like something your friend doesn't like so they HAVE to complain and say it sucks

-getting no freedom at your own ہوم and being controlled سے طرف کی your parents

-crab cake

-girly things

-uptight people who can't stand jokes and practically spit in your face if آپ make one "dirty" یا "wrong" joke

-overprotective...

Katniss:

Peeta and I had just won the Hunger Games. A televised fight to the death. My sister, Prim, had been picked to be in the Games, so I took her place. Now I was at ہوم with her and my mother. Peeta was living in a house near me. We had pretended to be in love for the Games so we would both win. I don’t really love him, but I think that he really does love me. Well, now everything is normal. Prim, my mother, Peeta, and I are fine. Everything is different, though. I had been so used to living in the Seam, that all of these luxuries from winning the Games seem abnormal and unusual to...

ATTENTION PEOPLES OF HOGWARTS AND BEAUBATONS AND DURMSTRANG AND PIGFARTS AND ALL آپ MUGGLES INBETWEEN! I AM CHANGING THE STORY LINE PLOT THINGY FROM AL QUEDA ATTACKING AMERICA TO A WIZARDS BATTLE! PLEASE STILL ENJOY THE ORIGINAL AND TAKE CARE! I WILL POST THE NEW VERSION SOON!


This is a random book I was writing about Al Queda attacking America, and I got the idea from my friend, who had a nightmare, and کہا I could write a book یا something. This is the first chapter, so I'd love it if آپ could post your thoughts about it, anything I could change, things آپ liked, things that didn't make...

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President یا Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a سال plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

The ووڈکا, شراب Hotline: 772-257-4492

Outsource-A-Breakup To India: 631-403-2029

Bible Stories in 60 Seconds: 240-258-4010

The "Free Marijuana" Hotline: 267-436-5129

The Divorce Hotline: 631-403-2016

IRS Tax Extension Help Line: 267-436-5139

The "Loud Talkin' Redneck" Hotline: 401-285-0705

A Life-Saving Message: 267-436-5115

"Twilight" Obsession Hotline: 973-409-3307

Ruminations: 631-403-2013

Tech-Support Hotline: 772-257-4678

Automated Sobriety Test: 781-452-3027

movie hotline 781-452-4066

Gay Marriage Debate Line: 413-497-0148

Beer Goggles Hotline: 954-482-4332

Your Status ڈیٹس اپ Are Annoying: 267-436-5224

"Travel...

I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether یا not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, سیکنڈ of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...

1. Take someone's shopping کی ٹوکری, رکن کی نمائندہ and switch the items with stuff from the person اگلے to them's کی ٹوکری, رکن کی نمائندہ
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen آپ in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of آپ on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. اقدام "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas....

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When آپ are dating..... Farting is never an issue.
When آپ are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When آپ are dating..... He takes آپ out to have a good time.
When آپ are married ....He brings ہوم a 6 pack, and says "What are آپ going to drink?"

When آپ are dating..... He holds your hand in public.
When آپ are married ....He flicks your ear in public.

When آپ are dating..... A Single بستر for 2 isn't THAT bad.
When آپ are married ....A King size بستر feels like an army cot.

When آپ are dating..... آپ are turned on at the sight of him naked....