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posted by VoicesInMyHead
Disclaimer. I don't own anything but the question. May be SLIGHTLY offensive, I think, not sure, but VERY funny. Enjoy and PLEASE comment!!!


Q: name two benefits of having a general ledger.

A: 1. Well, a zombie soldier is pretty cool, but a CELEBRITY zombie soldier is AWESOME!!!!! no one can win aqainst a ZOMBIE!!!!!!! Plus who would want to hurt Heath, he's too freakin awesome!!!!!! So, any battle you're in, آپ can't lose!!!!!!!









2. آپ just KNOW his fangirls are gonna شامل میں your army! The sheer NUMBERS are gonna give آپ an advantage!!!!!!! آپ can't lose!!!!!!! You'd be INVINCIBLE!!!!!!!! WORLD DOMINATION IF آپ WANT!!!!!!!!!



And those are two benefits of having a General Ledger!!!!!






Teacher's note: Genral ledger is a BUISSINESS term, NOT an idea to take over the world with an army of fangirls and celebrity zombies!
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posted by kitkat709477
No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the"exit delayed."

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You're not late, آپ just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're...
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1. meet barney

2. rob a bank while your still cute

3. write a threatening letter to the president

4. egg barneys house because he skipped last weeks show

5. slide down the big slide!

6. get revenge on the بتھ, مرغابی floaty that nearly drowned you

7. be bigger than big brother

8.drink a beer

9. when drunk find bob the builder and tell him what i really think!

10. win the lottery, and wave the money in mommy and daddy's face because apparently "I'm to younge to get an allowance"

11. get over that vacum cleaner fear

12. win at tug o war with the doggy

13. hold the senator hostage in an elabrate murder plot where...
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posted by werewolflover
I'm in something called Honors Club at school.Each سال we go on a trip,this سال to St.Louis.We left Thursday,April 29th 2010.
The ride took like six hours.The reason it took so long,was because one of the bus's air conditioning messed up,and we had to sit at a gas station for an hour.
We finally got up there and went to Nascar Speed Park.It was awesome.We got to ride go-carts and I won the race.Then,it was time for dinner.We ate hotdogs.And word of advice,if آپ ever go there DO NOT EAT THEM!!!!They are NASTY.Then,I went to a gift دکان and got a ھٹی, ترش powder stic.I got some tokens,and used them...
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Ever made a pick that آپ really want people to answer, but it's moving along slowly? Try these tips to bump it up.

1. Post the سوال when there are lots of people online. Between about 5-10pm in America is usually the best time, but it depends on the club. Doing this ensures that lots of people will answer it before it gets bumped down the list.

2. Don't make your pick when آپ first post it. When آپ first create it it will be at the سب, سب سے اوپر of the list. If آپ wait until it dissapears off the homepage to pick it will go back to the top, which means مزید people will see it.

3. When آپ have picked and it dissapears off the فہرست again make تبصرے during peak time, which I mentioned in tip 1. This is not effective, but your pick will still appear in the updates, which can give it a bit of exposure, and hopefully if someoe جوابات it will go back to the سب, سب سے اوپر of the list.

I hope this helps! Feedback appriciated.
posted by thespikedturtle
I am depressed. Not that I want to kill myself, but I am definitely depressed. Everywhere I look, I see violence, harshness, and hatred. The sad part is that people today seem to not even notice it, یا may even contribute without knowing.

At lunchtime, آپ usually walk into the cafeteria, jump in line with your friends, and go on without another thought. But jumping people in line really isn't as cool as آپ think it is. You're not only دکھانا disrespect to the other people, but it's just plain selfish. What you're really doing is using friendship to your advantage and making others suffer...
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posted by TOTALIzzyluver
Ok thx 4 the تبصرے in part 2! most of them were awesome! So here is Part 3!!
__________________________________________________

Awesome: Sup Z??

Z: Pigs!!

Awesome: Yeah they make funny noises!

Z: I see a penguin!

Awesome: We're not in Africa !

Z: Oh did u see Billy Bob's سال book picture?

Awesome: No is there something wrong with it?

Z: yeah i had no clue he had a beard!

Awesome: I think ice cream should come in a chocolate flavor

Z: They do...

Awesome: MY gramma has a pretty kitty

Z: aren't all kittys pretty

Awesome: We went out last night

Z: آپ and who?

Awesome: Charlie Bartlett

Z: As in the movie?

Awesome:...
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posted by Little_Cullen
So I was sitting at home, watching the comedy gala and texting (you know those meaningless conversations, the ones آپ don't enjoy but آپ don't want to just be rude and ignore your harasser), not really focusing, just daydreaming (about a bunch of grapes, with each انگور having a seperate personality and the ability to communicate, if آپ must know. Imagine the arguments they'd get into...), vaguely conscious of the fact that on the T.V a comedian was up there standing there in silence with no one laughing.

I was then pulled out of my reverie (one انگور had just کہا to another "What did the...
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