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74

posted by breebree446

Things to Try on an Elevator-

1) CRACK open your اٹیچی, بریف کیس یا handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the دیوار without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him یا her to call آپ Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY 'ding' at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these...

4

Best pickup lines ever! XD

posted by neonstars

Are آپ a scientist Cause I'd Like to do آپ on a میز, جدول , Periodically(:

If آپ where a مثلث You'd be acute one.

Is your name WiFi, because I feel a connection.

There something wrong with my phone, it doesn't have your number in it x3

ارے baby, better call life alert cause I've fallen for آپ and I can't get up (:

Roses are red. Foxes are clever. I like your but, shall I touch it forever?

آپ remind me of my اگلے boyfriend.

Do your legs hurt? From running through my dreams all night!

If آپ were a snack pack id eat آپ without a spoon.

آپ smell like a flower. Can I plant آپ in my garden?

Do آپ believe in love at first sight, یا should I walk سے طرف کی again?

3

Beyond me: Heartache

posted by canal

Hands fell on my shoulders and pulled me into an embrace. "You see Aliya, my دل beats unlike Jonathan's, Mason's , یا Kody's" he کہا his breath heavy on my neck. "Be quiet" I yelled. Heavy footsteps echoed through the house. "Aliya" many voices yelled in unison.
"A disparu sans laisser de traces, il n'en reste aucun souvenir " he said. We vanished into another room. "Just let me go" I said. "Oh how I pity you, آپ pathetic thing" he کہا stroking my hair. "I'm not pathetic" I کہا pushing him back. "Do آپ know how old I am" he asked. "Eighty" I made a random guess. "No, not even close I'm...

4

Lilly's diary - bye bye my favourite teacher

posted by dxcfan101

Dear Diary,
i'm really really sad because i'm still grounded, jake dumped me, ms perrywinkle still slaps me, and mr scalleywag waz fired today :( :(
it all started today - i walked sadly/happly to school, sadly because ms perrywinkle and jake, happly because mr scalleywag (my most favourite teacher of all time) waz my art teacher
as i walked into mr scalleywag's class room i saw dat he waz paking his bags as if is summer
so i asked him why he waz paking, i waz fired yester دن after school, he said.
quickly i ran out of mr.s's class and in the bathroom and balled my eyes out, i waz so sad
but i made it true
and here i'am again still balling my eyes out in my room still grounded

ps my computer is not a dick anymore :D

3

Girl Confessions

posted by Bluekait

1. Do آپ sleep in your bra?
2. Does your dad know آپ like guys yet?
3. Are آپ a girly girl?
4. Small یا large purses?
5. Are آپ short?
6. Do آپ like somebody?
7. Do آپ care if your socks are dirty?
8. Do آپ like Halloween?
9. Are آپ double jointed?
10. Where is the weirdest place آپ have slept?
11. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
12. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
13. Do آپ call anybody سے طرف کی their last name?
14. How many guys will read this just because it says "Girl Confessions"?

GIRLS BE HONEST...
15. What color is the bra that you're wearing?...

1

kaluri the insane kid o.O randomness

posted by i_luv_Pelon_xxx

Its not finished yet but I'm gonna continue it...this is (will be) also avadable on my DA account
Iluvpelon14

Yay
One day, a little girl named kaluri was at the zoo. She loved monkeys, she loved throwing the chips for them, but mostly attrackted seagulls and other un-monkey like flying pests. She loved turtals too, untill one farted on her and turned her insane. Right now, she is sitting in a mental heatbox in a mental ہوم for mental hoes and can't stop shaking her head from side to side and moving it round it a دائرے, حلقہ like some retarded freak. She also eats air, don't do drugs kids. This child...

2

52 Awesome Facts About Love

posted by E-Scope90

Historically, sweat has been an active ingredient in perfume and love potions.g
In Bali, men believed a woman would fall in love if her suitor fed her a certain kind of leaf incised with the image of a god who sported a very large penis.e
The Mexican chief Montezuma considered chocolate a “love drug” and drank 50 cups of chocolate a دن before visiting his harem of 600 women.a
Scientists suggest that most people will fall in love approximately seven times before marriage.h
Some individuals who claim never to have felt romantic love suffer from hypopituitarism, a rare disease that doesn’t...

1

A Slender Man in Silent Hill.

posted by marksmen456

Pyramid Head Slashing SlenderMan.

The sound of a Large object on the floor,Being dragged in this,Foggy,Ominous place, What was this place? It was Silent Hill, That noise آپ hearing,Is none other than Pyramid Head, Dragging his sword around,Searching for James. He always does,For he is the Guilt,And the Excecutioner.

The Fog,That,Never ending Fog,It will always be there, But, Something Broke that mist, A tall figure, Wearing a Classical suit, With no face, Having these, Tendrils bursting out of his back. He stood there, In the mist,Alone.

Pyramid Head, Who saw something, Turned, Seeing this, Tall, Slender Man He looked at the...

5

Funny as hell jokes

posted by iluvsmj

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of آپ bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of آپ bastards who are getting on, get your پچھواڑے, گدا in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want آپ to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When آپ come out,you may play with your train, but I want you...

5

Butterfly.

posted by BloodyMascara_

Butterfly, Butterfly.
It is ever so cold.
Butterfly, Butterfly.
Save me from the snow.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
One سے طرف کی one,
Butterfly, Butterfly.
The soldiers run.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
Keep me safe,
Butterfly, Butterfly.
Fly me away.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
I will love آپ forever.
Butterfly, Butterfly.
You will leave me never.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
Where did آپ go?
Butterfly, Butterfly.
I need to know.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
I am not safe,
Butterfly, Butterfly.
Take me away.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
Save me from the growing flames.
Butterfly, Butterfly.
Show me the way.

Butterfly, Butterfly.
It burns so bad.
Butterfly, Butterfly....

2

how to know a girl like u

posted by yukikiyruu

How To Know If a Girl Likes آپ – Clichés

Here are some of the signs that have been popularized over the years as ‘ surefire ways to know whether a girl likes you’. Some of these might seem a bit silly, although people claim to these to work; I personally think these are not applicable to every girl that آپ meet. Making inferences about a girl’s feelings merely سے طرف کی the way she looks at آپ یا سے طرف کی the ways she flutters her eyes might seem very romantic and mushy, just like they دکھائیں it in the movies, but again, if only things shown in the romantic chick flicks would come true, life would’ve...

5

Cleverbot is a Stalker, Among Other Things...

posted by Spinner13

[b]Thought I'd post bits of a really far-wandering conversation I had with Cleverbot. I'd post it as a picture but I couldn't figure out how.[b]

Cleverbot: But آپ کہا I would never be the boss of you. Why did آپ change your mind?

User: I did not. And آپ are incorrectly stating what I said. Perhaps آپ have me confused with someone else.

Cleverbot: Only if آپ have an evil twin who is pretending to be آپ on your website. Are آپ sure that YOU'RE not suffering from Short Term Memory loss?

User: Oh my god! Evil Twin Cheryl is back? I told her to stop using my website!

Cleverbot: I'm human, so...

14

Meebo Emotions

posted by selenagomezfan7

meebo
     (meebo) :meebo: *meebo*
positive
     (smile) :) :-) =) =-)
     :D :-D x-D X-D (grin)
     (angel) O:)
fun
     (lol) x-D X-D :))
     :P :-P
     (wink) ;) ;-)
     ;P ;-P
     :'D
     :-> :>
     (cool) B) B-) 8) 8-)
     :-* :*
     :pirate: (arr) (arrr) (pirate) P)
     <:-p <:o) <:-P (party)
confused
     :S :-S :s :-s :? :-?
     (hmm)
     : :-
oops
     :x :X :-X :-x    ...

2

My فہرست of Good Shows

posted by xoPixie-Popxo

Feel free to add some suggestions یا reasons! I may include them on here. :)

From Cartoonnetwork:

Regular Show:
-The اندازی حرکت is actually decent.
-Funny
-Some characters are actually smart and use common sense

Adventure Time with Finn and Jake
-It has a very weird (but cute) looking setting.
-Funny
-A very fun and adventurous little cartoon (Hence the title, ADVENTURE Time.)

What I have to say to Cartoonnetwork: You're doing a rather decent job. Now let's get مزید cartoons like these.

From Nickelodeon:

Victorious (but slowly getting worse, like iCarly :/)
-Interesting and original characters
-Fun story...

6

how to annoy your parents?

posted by karpach_14

1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If آپ have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your دوستوں come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary دوستوں that آپ ask their opinion of everything.

7. After آپ have your bath, لپیٹ, لفاف کریں a bath towel around آپ and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask آپ what you're doing, say "Wearing...

2

What Types of Nutrition Can Help آپ Fight Corona Virus (COVID-19)?

posted by PharmaLimitless

It has been almost six months since COVID-19 came into our lives and disrupted it completely. We are now living in a coronavirus pandemic, where we have to take extra precautions about what we eat, who we talk to and how often we leave the house, among other things in order to protect the health of ourselves and our loved ones.

Since no vaccine for COVID-19 has been found yet, the only and best way to control the virus spread is سے طرف کی limiting the exposure. Health authorities around the globe have issued recommendations and measures to follow to the virus spread.

In addition to observing these...

6

An Open Letter to Grammar Nazis

posted by tamore

Dear Grammar Nazis,

As a prospective English major who adores language, I’ll be the first to say that I think what آپ stand for is admirable. I love syntax and word choice and alliterations and commas.

But you’ll never see me correcting anyone else’s grammar on the internet. In fact, I’m the person who would tweet something along the lines of “i fuckin love lana del rey omfg!!!!”

Why? Because being a grammar Nazi is beyond pointless. It creates unnecessary drama and proves absolutely nothing.

The Argument Against Grammar Nazis

The drama point is obvious –...

12

How to ge an easy A+

posted by prussiaducky

1. PAY ATTENTION! Even though paying attention is hard and focus is laying else where, paying attention is a huge part and connects to all fields of school. Homework, quizzes and tests, participation, and notes all depend on how much آپ pay attention. Sleep and eating breakfast usually helps your focus :)

2. BEHAVE AND PARTICIPATE! Keep your eyes glued on the concept یا teacher, and don't be influenced to stray else where. Just raise your had if آپ know the answer, یا ask an educated question. Other than that, BE QUIET!

3. HOMEWORK! this is the one of the fundamentals of getting an easy...

6

i am

posted by Hollestercutie

All with [x] apply to me all with r idks

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

[x]I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.(yep)

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION,...

8

Enough is enough.

posted by BlindBandit92

I am so sick and tired of people trying to force ideals and opinions down an individuals throat. IT is of the individual to make the choice what beliefs,opinions,etc they choose to follow.

If آپ are trying to rally people to a certain cause. Insulting,belittling,refusing to see middle ground,bias,hatred,etc will not aid in a person's plan to rally people? WHY? I'll tell آپ why. All of those things do the opposite of rallying generally. Sure آپ might have some people are on the same page immediately. But anyone else who are on the bridge یا the opposite side will never come to your side.

By...