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1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When آپ sleep over never boss me around in بستر unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If آپ don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” یا “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If آپ want sex, just ask. (In case آپ didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with مزید than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are آپ busy?" یا "Are آپ doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all دن but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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I got bored, so here آپ go.


1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here سے طرف کی my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...
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1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes آپ make me so mad i wanna throw آپ in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style آپ wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at آپ trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but آپ my friend!! yes you!! آپ CAN KISS MY ASS*******

If آپ didn't have feet آپ wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do آپ wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for آپ %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make آپ tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are آپ remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with آپ when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves آپ more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her دوستوں say i love her مزید than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary دوستوں that آپ talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome دوستوں and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time آپ read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though آپ may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't love you, my love.

I loved آپ with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar آپ grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something یا someone

3. Go up to a random person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki random noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a فاؤنٹین, چشمہ run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to آپ in public about the...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask آپ say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing شرٹ, قمیض sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If آپ want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS یا If آپ find a شرٹ, قمیض store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the food court and go to a fast food place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a میز, جدول singing elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as آپ can "I LOVE THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT دن AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until آپ see an old lady/guy...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while پہلے and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask آپ somethingand i want آپ to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how آپ feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want آپ to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi یا Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by xxXsk8trXxx
1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog food is a beautiful thing to watch when آپ are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when آپ sleeeeeep.

13. Bye کہا Santa while eating Blitzen.
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: google
just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped سے طرف کی terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds چرا لیا, چوری کی it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket چرا لیا, چوری کی it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall دیوار and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 سیکنڈ and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten منٹ intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people آپ can get to شامل میں in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department سے طرف کی sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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(WARNING: Profanity OUT OF THE WAZOO! Viewer discretion advised. Also, pie.)

(I will drive آپ to madness سے طرف کی letting آپ figure out why the heck I کہا pie. ;D)

Here's a trick question, what's one plus one? ^___^

JASON DERULO SUCKS.

Seriously, I don't mean to be mean, (BAD PUNS FTW!) But Jason Derulo.... He's not good. Almost every song he made is either bland, lame, forgettable, یا perverted as hell.

Some MASTERPIECES he made include Talk Dirty, In My Head, and......

Wiggle Wiggle. :P

(WHAT THE MOTHER FUCKING FUCK!?)

And then there's..... This song, I wouldn't call it Jason's worst song, but it's...
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