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posted by boomerlover
A Really Bad Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps اگلے to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy آپ another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This دن is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police کہا that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in بستر with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, آپ دکھائیں up and drink my poison."
Here's the rest of em'

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of مالٹا, نارنگی traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your رات کے کھانے, شام کا کھانا with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone آپ meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do...
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posted by deathding
An amazing Card-Based game with so many features! Over 100 cards, آپ can meet real people online playing it, شامل میں the, "Cult" faction, a faction obsessed with alien advanced modern technology. یا the brotherhood. a faction who doesn't stop until your enemy is dead. Destroy your opponents rocket یا heal completely to win! upgrade your cards, skills, armor, and weapons in this Extraordinary game. And if آپ Don't have an e-mail, just make one up. This game features "Generators" where every turn آپ get 2 kinds of points. Attack points, Which let آپ attack and do other cool stuff to destroy your opponent, and Material points, which let آپ heal یا use cool things to protect your rocket. So please everyone, شامل میں the club, make a profile,(its free) and start battling! آپ WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED!
Step 1: Form crush

Step 2: Stalk crush on Facebook

Step 3: Talk to دوستوں about crush

Step 4: Talk to family about crush

Step 5: Talk to Internet people about crush

Step 6: Obsess over crush on blog

Step 7: Dream about crush

Step 8: Doodle crush's name on books

Step 9: Fall in love with crush

Step 10: Imagine having babies with crush

Step 11: Form an unhealthy obsession with what crush does every day

Step 12: Cry at night because of crush

Step 13: Imagine flirting with crush

Step 14: Dress to impress crush

Step 15: Become depressed because crush does not notice

Step 16: Hate any girl that talks to crush

Step 17: Stalk crush on Twitter

Step 18: Learn crush's favourite color, animal, activity, etc

Step 19: Send anonymous packages to crush's house

Step 20: Never ask crush out

The End.
added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: 0987654321
I actually really enjoy watching film reviews and the film reviews where critics dislike films are often مزید entertaining. The best film reviews involve exaggerating feelings about films. However both regular people and critics often hate films. I think that hating on films too much can be a bad thing.

Of course there are plenty of films that I dislike, but I don't hate any fils. I used to hate some films. There were films that made me mad just سے طرف کی thinking about them. I don't get why people should hate films. Of course people are allowed to dislike films, but disliking and hating are 2 different...
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I do think that آپ probably should avoid the following sites I am going to list. I will add مزید to the فہرست when I find مزید sites I think آپ should probably avoid. So if anyone sends آپ لنکس to the following sites, آپ have been warned that they could be tricking you. Some of these are obviously bad سے طرف کی the name of the ایل آر یو but some of them are very sneaky to trick you.

UNLESS آپ ARE A SICKO I ADVISE آپ NOT TO GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITES

meatspin.com
fingerslam.com
infoslash.com
wowomg.com
2girls1cup.com
2girls1finger.com
lemonparty.org
goatse.cz
cleangirls.org
salsasnack.com
goatsemarathon.com
biblecamp.info...
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posted by milorox18
1. I love the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I love the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I love the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I love the way آپ look at me.

5. I love how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I love the way I can’t imagine a دن without آپ in my life.

7. I love the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I love the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I love the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I love how I know you’ll always be there when I need آپ to be.

11....
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1- eye contact , if آپ notice him staring a lot at آپ ..like مزید than 5 times in the same دن .(unless آپ got a stain on your shirt)
2- if آپ and him were in the same area , he would be with آپ in every where آپ walk to ( like a party یا a کنسرٹ ..etc)
3- he would sit اگلے to آپ in your class ( unless hes too shy )
4- he would scream یا laugh out loud to get your attention .
5- he would kill to be your lab partner at school .
6 - if he says to آپ hi and hes all too sweaty , make sure hes nervous and that means he likes you.
7-if آپ drop something , he would be the first to get it for...
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posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, آپ answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, آپ answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, آپ answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, آپ say “is that so?”
5. If آپ so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher آپ did not turn in your homework because آپ were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
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posted by smileypop9
1.When آپ walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a ٹھنڈے, کولر that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up فہرست is on my ڈیسک for the part آپ would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up فہرست on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...
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1)"Why, do آپ find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I love the سیکنڈ grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and آپ actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...
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1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a دائرے, حلقہ that had its two sides gently compressed سے طرف کی a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When آپ sleep over never boss me around in بستر unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If آپ don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” یا “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If آپ want sex, just ask. (In case آپ didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with مزید than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are آپ busy?" یا "Are آپ doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all دن but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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I got bored, so here آپ go.


1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here سے طرف کی my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...
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1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes آپ make me so mad i wanna throw آپ in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style آپ wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at آپ trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but آپ my friend!! yes you!! آپ CAN KISS MY ASS*******

If آپ didn't have feet آپ wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do آپ wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for آپ %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make آپ tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are آپ remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with آپ when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves آپ more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her دوستوں say i love her مزید than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If آپ have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your دوستوں come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary دوستوں that آپ ask their opinion of everything.

7. After آپ have your bath, لپیٹ, لفاف کریں a bath towel around آپ and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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