I found these on Tumblr ... thought they were funny (and pretty damn accurate).
This is a little graphic for those of آپ who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)
1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous
2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy
3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling
4. Edward has a temper
5. Though there are no vampires and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL
6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile
7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella
8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them
9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)
10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 سیکنڈ after seeing Bella only bite her lip
11. Tanya is a bitch
12. Rose is the coolest badass ever
13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere
14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re reading a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: یا Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]
15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story یا a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I love you” before sex
16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 سیکنڈ before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids
17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella barbie and always takes her shopping against her will
18. No matter how long the story is یا what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips
19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her سے طرف کی Alice یا Rose
20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with موسیقی and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits
21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon
22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.
23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick
24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.
25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah
26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme
27. They always rip condoms with their teeth
28. At one time یا another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”
29. The مصنف will almost always sneak in at least one book یا movie quote
30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out سے طرف کی Edward watching her sleep
This is a little graphic for those of آپ who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)
1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous
2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy
3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling
4. Edward has a temper
5. Though there are no vampires and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL
6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile
7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella
8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them
9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)
10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 سیکنڈ after seeing Bella only bite her lip
11. Tanya is a bitch
12. Rose is the coolest badass ever
13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere
14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re reading a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: یا Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]
15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story یا a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I love you” before sex
16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 سیکنڈ before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids
17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella barbie and always takes her shopping against her will
18. No matter how long the story is یا what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips
19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her سے طرف کی Alice یا Rose
20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with موسیقی and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits
21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon
22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.
23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick
24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.
25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah
26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme
27. They always rip condoms with their teeth
28. At one time یا another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”
29. The مصنف will almost always sneak in at least one book یا movie quote
30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out سے طرف کی Edward watching her sleep
Hello, My Name Is: Death
Volume Seven
BuffyFaithfan1
___________________
[FOURTEEN]
Later that day, Jerek was visiting with Verona, and I was bored off my ass. I was wanting to talk to Tabra, but every time I approached him, he was suddenly busy. We had people on watch guard, and Shropee didn't need me to do anything, so I was bored. Very. Bored.
"I'm bored." I کہا to ہولی who was walking past me.
"Like I care!" She snapped, and continued on her way.
"Well." I got to my feet, and started off to see how Verona's doing.
When I got to the bottom of the steps, Jerek ran out of the room. "I'll be back. I'm getting Shropee."
"Wait. What? Why?" I asked. "Is she okay?"
"She's awake." Jerek called over his shoulder, and I gasped.
Verona's awake? Verona's awake. Verona's awake.
Volume Seven
BuffyFaithfan1
___________________
[FOURTEEN]
Later that day, Jerek was visiting with Verona, and I was bored off my ass. I was wanting to talk to Tabra, but every time I approached him, he was suddenly busy. We had people on watch guard, and Shropee didn't need me to do anything, so I was bored. Very. Bored.
"I'm bored." I کہا to ہولی who was walking past me.
"Like I care!" She snapped, and continued on her way.
"Well." I got to my feet, and started off to see how Verona's doing.
When I got to the bottom of the steps, Jerek ran out of the room. "I'll be back. I'm getting Shropee."
"Wait. What? Why?" I asked. "Is she okay?"
"She's awake." Jerek called over his shoulder, and I gasped.
Verona's awake? Verona's awake. Verona's awake.
Edward is hot i have to admit but he even admits he's a killer in New moon and he is TOO much of a gentalmen! Bella need some one better than that who wont be tempted to kill her whenever they touch.
Jacob on the othe hand can let loose and have fun, Bella has know him her WHOLE life, hes just better for her. plus who doesnt love a shirtless werewolf with a SIX pack?
Jacob is kind of young for bella but if bella chooses Jake she wont have to completely FREEZE her life before she hits 20!
Edward is Bellas age but to be with him she has to go through TONS and TONS of pain when Edward bites her and freeze her life in its tracks to live for ETERNITY!
Bella always seems soo much mor conferable around jacob, but with edward shes always so stiff and seems so nervous.
Iv'e read every book and seen every movie at least 5 times so far and i started out team Edward then i realized JACOB is SO much better for Bella.
Jacob on the othe hand can let loose and have fun, Bella has know him her WHOLE life, hes just better for her. plus who doesnt love a shirtless werewolf with a SIX pack?
Jacob is kind of young for bella but if bella chooses Jake she wont have to completely FREEZE her life before she hits 20!
Edward is Bellas age but to be with him she has to go through TONS and TONS of pain when Edward bites her and freeze her life in its tracks to live for ETERNITY!
Bella always seems soo much mor conferable around jacob, but with edward shes always so stiff and seems so nervous.
Iv'e read every book and seen every movie at least 5 times so far and i started out team Edward then i realized JACOB is SO much better for Bella.