Twilight Series Article: آپ Know You're Reading Twilight Fanfiction When...

5

آپ Know You're Reading Twilight Fanfiction When...

posted by pompeybabe

Lemons ... get it?

I found these on Tumblr ... thought they were funny (and pretty damn accurate).

This is a little graphic for those of آپ who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)

1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous

2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy

3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling

4. Edward has a temper

5. Though there are no vampires and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL

6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile

7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella

8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them

9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)

10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 سیکنڈ after seeing Bella only bite her lip

11. Tanya is a bitch

12. Rose is the coolest badass ever

13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere

14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re reading a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: یا Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]

15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story یا a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I love you” before sex

16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 سیکنڈ before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids

17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella barbie and always takes her shopping against her will

18. No matter how long the story is یا what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips

19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her سے طرف کی Alice یا Rose

20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with موسیقی and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits

21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon

22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.

23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick

24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.

25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah

26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme

27. They always rip condoms with their teeth

28. At one time یا another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”

29. The مصنف will almost always sneak in at least one book یا movie quote

30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out سے طرف کی Edward watching her sleep

Elle-C, BloodyObsession and 3 others like this

4

Blackout!!! Part 4

posted by smileyfaceddude

I made out a black figure, and a چادر, فرغل draped on his shoulders.
“CYNNDDYLAN!” I roared furiously, he approached us, and then threw his چادر, فرغل off onto the ground.
“You called…?” he asked quietly, his eyes amused and challenging.
“Where is my daughter?” I demanded.
“How should I know? Well, it’s not MY fault آپ cant look after her properly.” He کہا smugly “But… I DO know WHERE she is… for a price!” he added, my eyes widened with anger and disgust.
“I don’t want to play your stupid games!” I shouted angrily, he rose an eyebrow and smiled, but it was a cold,...

3

Gone Part 5

posted by CarlislesLover

Sorry for the delay.
XXXX

We got back to my apartment and I got changed back into the clothes I was wearing before I had the piercing. “Now آپ need to go back to work to see if they have your dress for you”

“Ok” We drove back to where my dress was being made. “Aren’t آپ coming in Lucy?
”
“No sorry I have to go”

“Oh ok” I walked in to the large building and back into the lift up to the floor my dress was being made on. “We have finished” The man کہا happily as I walked in. “Go try it on for me” I went and tried it on. I looked in the mirror it was amazing. “Wow...

2

Break up Part 11

posted by CarlislesLover

Part 11 finaly !!!!
xxxx

I was then blind folded and knocked out. I woke up in a huge white room. “This is where we’re going to train آپ to fight. Our way” Edward hadn’t even taught me how to fight yet but when the man کہا ‘our way’ it was obviously going to be a different way to how my family fight. Vampires started to enter the room. “Now watch us” A woman told me “And if آپ don’t you’ll be in trouble” She took a man and they started دکھانا me a fight. It looked complicated as each one of them took it in turn fighting each other it looked so hard. “I can’t do...

New Moon - Chapter 1 - Party (pages 23-25)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

NEW MOON - chapter 1 - PARTY

Edward drive north through Forks, visibly chafing at the speed enforced سے طرف کی my prehistoric Chevy. The engine groaned even louder than usual as he pushed it over fifty.
"Take it easy," I warned him.
"You know what آپ would love? A nice little Audi coupe. Very quiet, lots of power..."
"There's nothing wrong with my truck. And speaking of expensive nonessentials, if آپ know what's good for you, آپ didn't spend any money on birthday presents."
"Not a dime," he کہا virtuously.
"Good."
"Can آپ do me a favor?"
"That depends on what it is."...

3

Renn and Jakes life Chapter 25.

posted by WritenOnTheSand

Nessie Black

Jake and I haven't been really speaking today. He thinks I messed up big time yesterday سے طرف کی telling the truth. I think he messed up big time سے طرف کی being rude. Sometimes girls just get moody, and he should know that سے طرف کی now.

The problem with being upset is that it brings all the negative things in your life to attention. Jake and I are not doing so well money wise. His repair دکان is okay but not making enough money to support us. I haven't been to work since the wedding. I thought that once I was married, I wouldn't have to worry about working. Wrong idea.

I kinda feel like I am just useless, and...

4

Think of You--Chapter one--All the way from Tenessee

posted by RosalieLHale

Chapter One: All the way from Tennessee
Rosalie POV

    Two short years پہلے I was turned into a monster. I'm beautiful, yet still a monster. Being a vampire wasn't fun at all. I personally don't like eating animals. Well, their blood that is. But, rather a deer than a human I guess.
    I was hunting in the deep woods of Tennessee. It was far from where we were staying in the Appalachian Mountains, but, once again, Edward had gotten on my last nerve. Sometimes, no most of the time, I just want to rip Edward apart limb from limb....

4

a beautiful death part 10

posted by xroylex

i was still waiting but something felt weird why hadnt jake come back?
where the hell was he?
i was about to go looking for him when paul came back holding two cold looking drinks
"here" he handed me a glass but his face looked wary and a little guilty so before taking a sip i sniffed it.
yep as i was expecting there was something in it but what he didnt know is that being half vampire was that these tablet didnt effect me so why not have a little fun with him hmm??
well
i drank the hole glass watchin his eyes widen and a hug smile spread across his face
"wow i got to say that drink was ... diffrent...

4

a beautiful death part 9

posted by xroylex

*so what type of party is this?" i have never been to that many partys well i have but none with a guy who i only know a little bit and could i dont know be taking me to any type of paty
"its just a mates house party mum and dad is out for the weekend so he just wanted one" he shrugged
"oh"
it was half way down the سٹریٹ, گلی were i started to hear the tudding of موسیقی
oh god it was that type of party
"we could turn around آپ know i mean we dont have to go to this party i can take آپ home?" wow it was like he could read my mind. rememinded em of dad
"no no its just a little diffrent really i mean...

5

If things were different part 3

posted by a-jforever

No...No he has to be joking right.
“Victoria got away?” I whimpered. She would be back for me and there would be no delay on killing me this time. It would be so quick that Alice and Jacob wouldn’t be able to save me.

“Bella, are آپ ok?” Alice asked entering the kitchen.

Jacob stiffened. And Alice scrunched up her nose.

“WHAT IS THAT AWFUL SMELL?” she complained.

“It’s me, Leech. And I have to say, آپ don’t smell that good either.”

“Guys please.” I begged. I couldn’t be dealing with this right now.

“I guess we don’t smell that appealing to each other then.” Alice...

5

The Family تخت Chapter 3

posted by daja625

Rosalie and Emmett in one car, Alice and Jasper In the other, and me and Edward in mine. They all fallowed me to my house. I told them to park in the back and to be quiet.
“Why are we quiet” Jasper asked. Edward spoke before I did “she doesn’t want her mom to know” Edward giggled. “Shut up” I کہا then we jumped to my balcony.
When we got to my room they sat and watched TV why’ll I slept? After an گھنٹہ I woke up at the sound of my mother’s voice. They all just looked at me when they herd my mom’s voice “shh” I told them. Edward started giggled “shh” I کہا again....

2

Alice and Jasper part 9

posted by kiwi12

Alice

I followed Carlisle into the living room. Rosalie sat in a rather secluded chair. I knew she didn't trust us. Carlisle and Esme headed toward a couch, so I walked with Jasper to a loveseat across from them. Esme smiled when she saw Jasper wait until the ladies were seated before sitting اگلے to me. I took Jasper's hand and looked at Carlisle. "Well.. I umm... well I saw آپ and your family I can see the future and I don't want to kill people and neither does Jasper (Jasper and I are mates) so we came here and we're all going to be great دوستوں so can Jasper and I please stay?" I offered...

3

Renn and Jakes Life Chapter 24.

posted by WritenOnTheSand

We pull up to the house just سیکنڈ after my Dad. I leap out of the car and dash towards the front door.

Quickly, I run inside and to the garage.

"Jake!" I try to catch his attention before Dad gets to him. But I know I am too late because I can already hear my Dad talking.

"What's up with you, Edward?" I hear Jake ask from the other room.

"How could آپ do this to my daughter?" His demands are loud and angry. I can almost hear the frown on his lips.

"What are آپ talking about?" Jake naturally seems a little joyed سے طرف کی driving him nuts. Even though they have this so called friend ship. Well...

3

Break up Part 8

posted by CarlislesLover

This isn't the end!
XXXXX

I stood there shocked no normal vampire was this skinny and I didn’t think that if a vampire didn’t have blood for a while that it would make them lose weight. He breathed in and turned around to face me. “WHAT DO آپ WANT آپ MONSTER?” I screamed at him. I was so angry that he had threatened to kill my friend and that he’d been following me and my daughter. “I want you” He whispered “WHO ARE YOU?” Alice put her hand on my shoulder wanting me to calm down. Renesmee was sat behind Hannah terrified and Hannah was just beyond shocked and scared. I could...

4

if he never chapter 29

posted by KatiiCullen94

"A son, bella" Edwards hand caressed my face adoringly.
My ribs hurt with extreme pain. I was exhusted, and like being kicked in the gut put on top.
"Emmett, fetch my مزید morphine" Carlisle struggled, holding my new screaming boy.
"Who wants to cut the chord?" Edward suggested.
A small voice sounded from the the back of the room. Rosalie.
"I will" She slowly approuched me and smiled a wide grin once she came into my eyeshot.
Emmett wiped back with a large needle.
oh god, i dont like the size of that needle. I graped onto Edward wrist.
"It's alright Bella, it wont hurt" Carlisle assured me....

5

Amazing (Renesmee's POV) Chapter 5

posted by rubytuesday101

I went to بستر that night at 11 o'clock i was thinking about mum and dad.I fell asleep with jakes warm arms around me.A couple of hours jake woke up.
"Whats wrong jake?"i asked him
"I heard something down stairs,i'm going down to check okay"he کہا quitly to me all i did was nod.
He got up and went down stairs i looked at the clock it was 3 i the morning.After about 10 منٹ i went into my mums room.
"Mum jake went down stairs because he heard something but he hasnt came back up yet".i کہا to her.
"Come on we will go down and check okay"i nodded and we both went down stairs.
We got down and the...

6

True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Two)

posted by moolah

Alice,Rosalie,and Bella.Best Friends.

Alice’s P.O.V:
When we finally got done crying on each others shoulders we had to take a break from Truth یا dare for like ten minutes. Bella stared out the window for that time sniffling and begging us not to think about her rape. We agreed immediately, so she felt better.
Bella sat silent for another five منٹ while Rosalie and I talked about Truth یا Dare سوالات we had in the past. When Bella finally came around we had stopped at a drugstore because she کہا she was thirsty. So, while Rosalie went in a bought a Crush مالٹا, نارنگی Soda. Bella looked over at me and said, “I’m sorry,...

4

a beautiful death part 6

posted by xroylex

"nessie are آپ sure this is what آپ want ? i mean آپ only just got here and now آپ want to leave i wont stop آپ if thats what you-" i cut him of its not what i wanted but its what i had to do to i dont know why i was leaving but my stomach felt like i had to.
"bye grandad its been great really"
he waved as i got on the plane even thought i knew it was the right thing to do it still hurt saying goodbye like that like i have left a peice of me here..

days weeks months passed and soon enough it was my 17th birthday party nothing could go wrong could it??
well i thought it couldnt

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

5

a beautiful death part 5

posted by xroylex

"yeah i guess i am im sorry i lied to آپ grandma but i really didnt know what mum wanted me to say im so so so sorry"
"oh baby just stop right there of corse آپ didnt want me to know your mum i mean she will tell me the truth soon enough" she hugged me and کہا the words i didnt want to hear
"i have to get ہوم to phile baby i will call آپ soon" she hugged me one last time and kissed me lightly on the cheek
"goodbye" i whispered when she turned her back on me i couldnt help myself from breaking down in to tears.

"charlie? charlie? are آپ here?" a deep voise asked from the door way i looked...

4

Break up Part 4

posted by CarlislesLover

Heyy guys this is part 4 of break up. And this is mainly just a convo she has wiv her friend hannah at work :)XXX

The اگلے دن I was back to work. “Where were آپ yesterday?” Hannah asked “Long story” I told her. “Ok” she said. This was one of the good points about Hannah, if she asked آپ what had happened to آپ یا where were آپ and آپ replied it doesn’t matter یا I don’t want to talk about it. She would leave it and get on with whatever she was doing before. I was really worried about Renesmee after what had happened last night. I guessed it was the man in the black cloak...

3

Break up Part 3

posted by CarlislesLover

ارے guys this is part 3 of break up finalyy XXX

I woke up in a hospital بستر with Renesmee holding my hand. “Thank God you’re alive”

“Mum why are آپ so pleased that I’m alive. آپ should be pleased that you’re alive!”

“What happened? Did a man with a black چادر, فرغل come into your school? If he did, did he say anything to you?”

“Mum what are آپ on about. I think you’re seeing things. Let me get the doctor back in here”

“NO!!! I don’t need a doctor. I saw a man in a black چادر, فرغل on the way to work, he was a vampire. I noticed he was walking towards your school so I turned...