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posted by VoicesInMyHead
Disclaimer. I don't own anything but the question. May be SLIGHTLY offensive, I think, not sure, but VERY funny. Enjoy and PLEASE comment!!!


Q: name two benefits of having a general ledger.

A: 1. Well, a zombie soldier is pretty cool, but a CELEBRITY zombie soldier is AWESOME!!!!! no one can win aqainst a ZOMBIE!!!!!!! Plus who would want to hurt Heath, he's too freakin awesome!!!!!! So, any battle you're in, آپ can't lose!!!!!!!









2. آپ just KNOW his fangirls are gonna شامل میں your army! The sheer NUMBERS are gonna give آپ an advantage!!!!!!! آپ can't lose!!!!!!! You'd be INVINCIBLE!!!!!!!! WORLD DOMINATION IF آپ WANT!!!!!!!!!



And those are two benefits of having a General Ledger!!!!!






Teacher's note: Genral ledger is a BUISSINESS term, NOT an idea to take over the world with an army of fangirls and celebrity zombies!
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MARY HAD A LITLE LMB LITLE LMB LITLE LMB MARY HAD A LITL3 LMB WHOSE FLECE WAS WHIET AS SNOW
SNG1!!1!11 WTF A SONG OF SIXPENC3 A POK3T FUL OF RY3!1!! OMG LOL FOUR AND TWENTY BLAKBIRDS BAEKD IN A PEI1!!!11 OMG WTF LOL WHAN TEH PEI WAS OP3NED DA BIRDS BGAON 2 SNG1!1!11 LOL WASNT TAHT A DANETY DISH 2 SET BFORA DA KNG
TWINKLE???!???? LOL TWINKLA LITL3 STAR1!!!!1 WTF LOL HOW I WONDAR WUT U AER1!!11! OMG UP ABOV3 TEH WORLD SO HIGH1!!1 WTF LOL LIEK A DIMOND IN DA SKY1!11 TWINKL3 TWINKLE LITLA STAR!!11 OMG HOW I WONDER WUT U AER111!




i could barely read this and again this is from the internet<33
posted by EllentheStrange
Feel free to use them
1.Your mom
2.Dick
3.Eat it bitch
4.That's what she said
5. The future is bulletproof and the aftermath is secondary
6.Forshizz
7.Holy cannibal cupcake!
8.IDEK
9.Hey ho,let's go!
10.In Soviet Russia,the برداشت, ریچھ wrestles you
11.Chuck Norris was here
12.Apple cake
13.Bloody bastards!
14.Ya know,I was welcomed to the black parade
15.Take my fucking hand and suck my thumb
16.Eat the children raw
17.RAWR means I love آپ in Italian
18.I will carry on with the black parade
19.So long and goodnight
20.Ya know,I live life on the murder scene
Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to آپ as much as you
enjoy listening.
3. Don’t say آپ understand when آپ don’t.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
5. آپ don’t have PMS; don’t act like آپ know what it’s
like.
6. Saying something sweet might get آپ off the hook;
doing something sweet will always get آپ off the hook.
7. If آپ talk about having a big dick; we know آپ don’t.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that
want relationships.
9. We don’t like it when آپ act like Mr....
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posted by jessicamc26
The Engineer

An engineer dies and reports to hell.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty مقبول guy.

One دن God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here یا I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are آپ going to get a lawyer?"
posted by Jeffersonian
A teacher forwarded this فہرست of تبصرے from test papers, essays, etc., کیا پیش to science and health teachers سے طرف کی elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As she noted, It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.

The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the دل and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u.
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it...
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1 when they ask u what your name is, make a name up (like hello kitty یا santino marella. یا even better, if youre a girl make up a guys vice versa for da guys)

2 when they ask u what insturment u play, make up a name for your insturment

3 when u have to introduce that person, mess up, like say a stupid name and a wierd insturment they play. then explain that's what آپ heard when they explained it 2 you

4 wear a شرٹ, قمیض over your uniform that makes the other teams band members offended.

5 hug them, and place a beetle INSIDE their uniform

6 bring along your little Brother/sister (if u dont hav one...
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posted by cheeeese
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