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 Lemons ... get it?
Lemons ... get it?
I found these on Tumblr ... thought they were funny (and pretty damn accurate).


This is a little graphic for those of آپ who shy away from this kinda stuff ;)



1. Bella is clumsy, shy and constantly bites her lower lip when she’s nervous

2. Edward finds her lip biting habits sexy

3. Edward is jealous, over protective and a bit controlling

4. Edward has a temper

5. Though there are no vampires and no werewolves, Human Edward can actually GROWL

6. Edward has the greenest eyes she’s ever seen and a panty dropping crooked smile

7. Edward always has velvety smooth, warm voice that turns to rough when he wants Bella

8. Bella has the deepest brown eyes and he can see to her soul through them

9. Edward has a monster cock that deserves an award and can put any other to shame ;)

10. Though some might think physically impossible, Edward can get hard in less than 3 سیکنڈ after seeing Bella only bite her lip

11. Tanya is a bitch

12. Rose is the coolest badass ever

13. Esme is always wiping tears from her eyes somewhere

14. Carlisle the kindest and most compassionate Doctor ever… unless you’re reading a SAVAGE story [Lorabell note: یا Emancipation Proclamation where he’s a straight up badass]

15. Unless it’s a sex marathon story یا a Dadward/Momella story, you’re gonna have to wait till they say “I love you” before sex

16. Edward always gets Bella to come only 2 سیکنڈ before him and both always happen explosively with white spots behind their eyelids

17. Alice is referred to as a pixie, loves Bella barbie and always takes her shopping against her will

18. No matter how long the story is یا what genre but you’ll ALWAYS find Edward in a towel somewhere with Bella there to drool over the V between his hips

19. Bella hates wearing heels, calls them “death traps” and they’re usually forced on her سے طرف کی Alice یا Rose

20. Edward has LONG fingers that can do wonders with موسیقی and Bella’s [*cough* and Lorabell’s *cough*] lady bits

21. Charlie is always always always fishing… I mean, dude get a life - no one fishes 24/7 not even in Canon

22. Jacob is bad. If he’s not bad, he’s gay. If he’s not gay, he’s a dog. Literally.

23. Mike is a douche. No matter what he does and how nice he is, he’s always a douche with a small dick

24. EVERY TIME Bella and Edward have sex, it’s better than the last and the best sex they have ever had. EVER.

25. Jake almost ALWAYS ends up with Leah

26. Rosalie always smacks Emmet on the back of his head… if she’s not around then it’s Esme

27. They always rip condoms with their teeth

28. At one time یا another you’ll find that “she/he saw something unreadable flicker in his/her eyes but it disappeared before she/he could see what it was”

29. The مصنف will almost always sneak in at least one book یا movie quote

30. When most normal people would have reached for the telephone and dialed 911, Bella is NOT freaked out سے طرف کی Edward watching her sleep
posted by karpach_14
Chapter 3
I sneaked out of my house without anyone noticing me, this is actually the first time I didn’t get caught . I got in my car and drove off to Eric’s house. I drove 10 منٹ and finally arrives there. Eric was standing (almost sleeping) سے طرف کی his porch. I got out of the car and went to him.
“geez renesmee couldn’t we talk in the morning?” he asked me
“call me nessie, and no we couldn’t talk in the morning its going to be too late, remember im leaving isle esme?” I asked him
“yeahhh” he lied
“sure… whatever. I don’t want to go there now and I think to too late to...
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posted by Hellohoudini
Paramore Loses Two Members
Posted Sun Dec 19, 2010 12:03pm PST سے طرف کی Mike Krumboltz in Stop The Presses!


Pop-punk group Paramore is losing two of its founding members. The band announced that guitarist Josh Farro and ڈرمر Zac Farro are leaving.

The announcement led to a lot of noise on the Web. Almost immediately, Web searches for "paramore breakup" and "paramore band splits" surged into breakout status.

The band گیا کیا پوسٹ a statement on its official site confirming that the تقسیم, الگ کریں had been in the works for some time.

"A couple of months ago, Josh and Zac let us know they would be leaving the band...
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posted by karpach_14
Chapter 2
In the morning my aunt came in all happy and started dressing me
But I didn’t feel happy یا excited to go to school. My aunt dressed me up into a beautiful dress and high high heels
I arrived at school and everyone was looking at me. I hate d the attention. Eric walked up to me. I tried to ignore him, but he grabbed my hand and held me tight and closae to him.
“let go” I told him calmly.
“ I love you” he said
“and I cant do anything about it now let go” I told him still calmly. He stopped and I had to stop too cuz he was holding my hand really tight. “renesmee” he said...
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posted by SarBear1579
2

When I reached the pack that night all they guys were pinching and punching each other and chanting it was the first دن of the month.As soon as they saw me they all stopped and their attention was on me,serious now.
“Ok,guys we wer-” I stopped short. “Where is Lisa?”
“She's with Jay,she is recovering from last night's little brawl with Rick” John replied as he walked from out from the darkness of the trees.We where just out of town a few kilometers from the shack.Good thing werewolves are fast we will make it ہوم in time for جے to not get concerned.

We did a lot better tonight.John,and...
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posted by uniquezandy
Bellas POV
I can't believe the biggest jerk in school is my dance partenar. To make matters worse: it's tango! Tango is normally done سے طرف کی couples. I hate him and he hates me. It all started when he secrectly made a bet with his friend, that we would go out and be a couple, to prove he can go out with any girl. When I found out; I was livid, that I never knew spoke to him again. I thought he liked me; I was a fool for making that mistake.
It started in Gym. We all gathered for the announcement Mrs Kane made. "Now in gym, we will be doing something different. Each semester we wil be learning different...
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posted by Hellohoudini
Ad Age: Twilight Saga Rocks Viral Marketing

By Twilight_News | 11 December 2010

According to their press release:
Every week, the Ad Age Viral Video Chart presents the سب, سب سے اوپر 10 گیا دیکھا زیادہ سے سب brand-driven ویڈیوز on the web with one major caveat: There are no movie یا video-game trailers included in the findings. Why? Well, it’s not really a fair fight. Put it this way: Old Spice guy Isaiah Mustafa — even with all his talent and outstanding physique — would barely have a chance.
Movie and video-game trailers are very different in the way they’re shared on the web. For one, both game and movie...
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Edward's pov

We where almost on the end of the wood.Nothing.Bella's smell is lost and so was her "friend's"smell as well.I was pissed of,hurt.I just want all this to stop.If I could turn back the time,I wouldn't leave her not for a second.Bella would be here,we would be married getting lost in to each others eyes.I would give and do anything just to bring her back.I miss you,my love...


Bella's pov

I couldn't take my mind of Edward.I missed him so damn much!!!!!All fear's begin to hunt me,even thou I'm awake,but I which I wasn't.This all looked like one of those bad dreams,that never end.Oh God...
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ارے guys,this is my first time I write this story,so I hope you'll like it:)

Edward's POV

Everything was going just like Alice predicted:Bella would wear beautiful white wedding dress with two blue hair-pin in her chocolate brown hair and she would be breathtaking true all the ceremony.I was really exited and just couldn't wait to get married with the girl that I was waiting for almost an century!Bella was the One for me,I always knew that and even true all those things that we went true,I never doubt about that.She completed me I every single way and without her,I wouldn't exist anymore.

Bella's...
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posted by uniquezandy
Meet, Bella and Edward. They both Attend Forks high school, but have very different personalities. And another thing: they can't stand eachother. Nobody, knew why they hated eachother. In Forks, it's a small town and gossip can spread fast. When they were younger, they were the best of friends. They told eachother everything. But then... all that changed and they grew up. They started seeing new people and stopped seeing eachother. How sad. They did have the same دوستوں though. There was, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. All of them knew, deep down that they should be together. So they descided...
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posted by uniquezandy
Bella:
What just happened? Did I tell my master I was in love with him? Did I? If only I had مزید sleep. That night I remembered:love, pain and ending with love again. I just didn't understand how a ball could bring out a lot of emotions. Today i am relieved, because it's Monday and that evil witch Tanya is getting fired. I am glad.
All of us assembled in the hall were Edward gave his speech. "Few of آپ knew the incident that happened at the ball. And for that, Tanya like I said; آپ are fired. Leave before midday یا I'll get the guards to escort آپ out!" He informed. This was serious; but...
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posted by fayerox16
ok so here are a few rumors i heard over the course of the months after Eclipse came out,about Breaking Dawn.
the first rumor is that Breaking Dawn will be rated R. ok people i can officially کریں تصدیق that this is not true.Breaking Dawn will be rated PG-13.
the سیکنڈ rumor is that Zac Efron will be starring in Breaking Dawn. absolutely not, Zac Efron is sticking to his High School Musical stuff. good boy.
third rumor, is that Justin Bieber is going to be in the film for thirty seconds...nice try people.you must be thinking of men in black where M.J was on screen for 30 seconds.
finally,that Bella is getting replaced. ok girls, as MUCH as we wish this rumor was true...it's not.i know i know. we would ALL love for kristen stewart to get replaced.sorry, maybe اگلے time.
posted by uniquezandy
Edwards pov
Where do I begin? The fact that killing is my job, and I send people to an early death? It never used to be like this though. If people did wrong; I stabbed them in the heart. What happened was; one day, the King and queen in our village; needed a fearless protector; to keep evil away from them. Somehow it ended up to be me, when there were no brave men to take up the challenge. So that is where I am today. It is my duty; to serve the King and queen and be a humble protector.

It was another sunny day, a دن I thought; that I would get through without one muder. I felt happy. But...
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posted by KatiiCullen94
I've known who ive been becoming my whole life, and my whole life, ive been in love with her. I think shes the one, my imprinted parnter, she has to be, everythigs there and waitting, shes perfect.
Bella, is my one. My soulmate, only time will secure her as mine forever. She not loves of me. BUt im not afraid یا hurt سے طرف کی that, because it will change because of the magic growing in me. There will be no denying it on her behalf once ive been throught the phase that waits unexpectedly. She holds my hands and calls her best friend, but the see the مزید in her eyes. Im sort of beautiful to her, but...
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posted by Hellohoudini
(Twilight Lexion Nov 22 2001)

Muse won an American موسیقی Award as the best alternative rock artist. آپ can see their video from the Eclipse soundtrack of Neutron سٹار, ستارہ Collision here. Unfortunately the Eclipse soundtrack did not win. It was beaten out of an award سے طرف کی the Glee soundtrack.


Opinion:

I've read that alot of people loved the Eclispe soundtrack...to be honest I dont even remember any of the songs on it! Now the Twilight soundtrack and the New Moon soundtrack I know سے طرف کی heart....I feel quilty that I dont feel the same about the Eclipse sountrack...but congrats to Muse!
posted by LexisFaith
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"All I can tell آپ is what I think about her." Carlisle told me.

I nodded for him to go on.

He sighed and leaned foward, folding his hands on his desk. "I think that Bella is the strongest woman, besides your mother, I have ever met. She's twenty-two years old and has been working here for two years. She graduated highschool at 16 and a few weeks after she graduated she had a son who's father died a week before he was born. Killed سے طرف کی a drunk driver.

"She raised him on her own with the help of her brother Emmett, who is our x-ray tech, her father...
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Edwards pov
There was something about her; that made me feel different. When we are parteners in everything; she hates it. I think she is hiding the fact that secretly she likes it. I am Edward Cullen and I am parterners with Bella سوان, ہنس for everything. She isn't so bad. But today; she lost it, when the teacher کہا these words...

(Drama teacher) "As آپ know; there will be a play soon. It's going to be Romeo and Juilet. We decided that this سال the roles go to... Bella and Edward." She smiled. Bella groaned. I don't really understand her problem. I am nice to her; when we work together. (And...
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posted by uniquezandy
Bellas pov
I don't know what is worse. My life یا the person I serve.... "Servant Swan? Where are you?!" He shouted. That was my Master Edward Cullen. I never say his name though to his face. That would be disrespectful, and it would land me punishment. How did I get here as a servant, and who is my cruel master? Well it all began...

Flashback
I was enjoying myself reading on a park bench; when all of a sudden, a girl with long blonde hair, came up to me. "Are آپ Bella Swan?" She asked. I was confused; at how she knew my name. She was younge; and she wore a young black چادر, فرغل with a hood. Mysterious....
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posted by 1TeamEdwardFan
I won't bore آپ guys about excuses as to why I haven't written in so long (I know I always take a month...) But I am Sorry about the fact that I write so slowly (I just get addicted to some Fanfic's on here, and I can't write until I finish them).I would also just like to thank Halunik again because without her I would have never been able to write/type this chapter, And thanks for the pushes for me to write quicker... I try. Also thank آپ too everyone who's reads my story and تبصرے it means alot to me.
Hope آپ enjoy, this chapter was the hardest one so far to write.



Bella's POV


We were...
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posted by uniquezandy
Bellas POV
"Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I'll be waiting all thats left to do is run..." I sang the Taylor تیز رو, سوئفٹ song. I feel very loved up right now, that I didn't know I had an audience. "So آپ would wait for me; for a long time? Nice voice as well." He teased and laughed. That was embarrasing. I was in my room, singing a song, then out of no where, my boyfriend appears and jokes with me. He ran up to me where we so close together, when I was blushing really madly. "How did you-?" I started to question. He smiled and spoke ever so sweetly. "Part, of being a vampire, آپ have...
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posted by teamalice_0
AN: I’m writing again, I got this story in my head and it seems interesting to me. I hope آپ guys like it, if I get enough تبصرے and if آپ guys say آپ like it I will continue it;
-teamalice_0

--------------------------------------------------

When I was about 8, right before my mother left me and my dad, she sat me down in my room and told me something.I want آپ to remember everything آپ see around you, colors, people, everything آپ possibly can. Your life will change and that will come in handy. Goodbye Isabella. at the time she told me this I didn’t understand what she meant by...
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