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Make your own sentence (be honest though);

Step 1: Choose your ماہ of birth...

January: I hate...
February: I ran naked with...
March: I need...
April: I shot...
May: I smoked weed with...
June: I killed...
July: I pissed on...
August: I fucked...
September: I got married with...
October: I stabbed...
November: I gave a blowjob to...
December: I took a crap on...

Step 2: Choose your birthday;

1: A monkey...
2: A prostitute...
3: A vacuum cleaner...
4: You...
5: Barney the dinosaur...
6: A dog...
7: Santa Clause...
8: A travesty...
9: A porn star...
10: A condom...
11: A bowl of cereal...
12: A jew...
13: A lesbian......
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In the weekend’s least shocking development, Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry locked lips. Crazy, right?! (And سے طرف کی crazy, I mean not crazy at all.)
Cyrus was singing the Bangerz ballad “Adore You” at an L.A. کنسرٹ when she climbed off the stage and summoned Perry, who was in the front row, to come lean in for a quick peck. Cyrus then backed up and squealed like she was surprised سے طرف کی her own mischief, which, okay, was pretty adorable. And the whole thing was caught on video, because of course it was. But really, did everyone forget that Perry’s first hit was called “I Kissed a Girl“?

GET مزید EW: Subscribe to the magazine for only 33¢ an issue!
Perry گیا کیا پوسٹ an after-shot of the kiss on her Twitter with the caption, “I adore آپ @MileyCyrus.” No regrets, just love.
posted by alismouha
"We need" means "I want"

"It's your decision" means "The correct decision should be obvious سے طرف کی now"

"Do what آپ want "means" You'll pay for this later

"We need to talk" means "I need to complain

"Sure...go ahead" means"I don't want آپ to.

"I'm not upset"means "Of course I'm upset, آپ moron."

"You're...so manly "means" آپ need a shave and آپ sweat a lot."

"You're certainly attentive tonight." means     "Is sex all آپ ever think about?"

"I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!" means     "I'm on my period."

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" means     "I...
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posted by Alexyss_Cullen
my first Fanfic!~ummm...i suck at this stuff if u want to know how badly then read it
"Alice are آپ sure Jack's gonna show" Greg asked
" YES of course why wouldnt he" I کہا quickly in excitment...
" Well i dont why he wouldnt but it's pourin outside and he if dont دکھائیں you'll have to walk ہوم in the freezing rain because i'll be gone and i dont want that " he کہا sounding quite mad u could hear it in his voice..
" Ok ok" I کہا " Why dont آپ leave me here with the car and آپ walk home"
I giggled and he looked at and me then & said
" Yea...
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posted by GDragon612
1) Prove a teacher wrong.
2) If in school in a test: if your teacher walks سے طرف کی cover up your test and glare suspiciously at them.
3) Get caught passing a note that says the teacher is great! See what happens.
4) When ever there's a sub teacher, change your accent.
5) Annoy your teacher سے طرف کی pretending to text under your ڈیسک while type numbers on your calculator.
6) Stare at your teacher and smile at them creepily.
7) Stare at your teacher.
8) Once your teacher has told آپ what your homework is, jump up on your ڈیسک and yell, "Objection!".
9) Come late to school and when the teacher asks why say your...
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posted by PeacefulCritic
I was thinking about doing the "giant مکڑی invasion." But being resist to the Gnomes were pretty bad. Let's just start the episode.*turns on Netflix*

The theme: of course it isn't bad at the same time it isn't that good. At some points it's catchy at others the lyrics gets a little too cliche.

Short video: And it's about how there is only one gnome with a pure heart. And they are resist about any of the others that aren't pixies so of course stead of making a fairy has a past problem with the gnomes. And their greed getting in the way of their broke kingdom and wanting revenge. That'll be...
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آپ think your دوستوں in love but your not sure heres how to tell
1.If its a boy he does stuff to get her attention(burp,fart,ect.)
2.For girls she acts strangely in front of her crush
3.She talks about him for an annoyingly long time.
4. He annoys and bullies his crush
5.He یا she acts strangely
6.He sends a love letter
7.Set up a تاریخ and send a friend to spy.
8.Tease your friend about his یا her crush.
9.Ask your friend to bring a special girl یا boy if talking to a girl.
10.Play Truth یا Dare and hope he یا she picks truth.
posted by YoYoLover4Ever
All those that signed up just come here!!!

The scene starts with Yoyo walking the park; bored out of his fricking mind; a set-up for a party behind him as he looks down at the dog at his feet.

"Where the Hell is everyone...?" he mutters to himself as he kicks the dog in front of him. "I thought there was gonna be a party..." Yoyo sighs and kicks the dog again so hard; the dog turns around and bites his ass. Yoyo; out of frustration; kicked the dog powerfully.

The dog yelps and runs away; leaving Yoyo all alone to his boredom again. "Fuck...WHERE IS EVERYONE!" Yoyo finally cries out; and then decides to break into the local liquor store and steals some drinks for the party.
posted by pure-angel
Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.
Albert Einstein

If آپ have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.
Henry David Thoreau

Inspiration and genius--one and the same.
Victor Hugo

To find what آپ seek in the road of life,
the best proverb of all is that which says:
"Leave no stone unturned."
Edward Bulwer Lytton
If آپ would create something,
you must be something.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Every artist was first an amateur.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The مزید difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the...
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posted by ShaclowStalker
Yeah here we go once again
Guess who’s back, let’s go
This one is all about you
I really hate آپ but i love you
So what can i do? Now listen

My دل aches when i see you, i can’t breathe, hold my hand.
He doesn’t love you, so why?
Why don’t آپ get it?
Baby let me Love ya

At first, i wanted آپ to be happy
Even the man آپ are with can’t be me.
I have believed that all i needed is for آپ to be happy.But i see tears in your eyes, i see sadness in you.I can’t hold back anymore, I’m now getting crazy.I cannot let it go, i gotta take you
This is our destiny yeah

I am risking everything, i...
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posted by invadercalliope
Sarah Cynthia Sylvia بولڈ, ہٹیلا
Would not take the garbage out!
She'd scour the pots and scrape the pans,
Candy the yams and spice the hams,
And though her daddy would scream and shout,
She simply would not take the garbage out.
And so it piled up to the ceilings:
Coffee grounds, potato peelings,
Brown bananas, rotten peas,
Chunks of ھٹی, ترش cottage cheese.
It filled the can, it covered the floor,
It cracked the window and blocked the door
With بیکن rinds and chicken bones,
Drippy ends of ice cream cones,
Prune pits, آڑو pits, مالٹا, نارنگی peel,
Gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal,
Pizza crusts and withered...
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posted by nmdis
"Until You're Mine"

My state of mind has finally
got the best of me
I need آپ اگلے to me
I'll try to find a way that I
could get to you
Just wanna get to you

The world I see is perfect now,
you're all around
With آپ I can breathe

Until you're mine, I have to find
A way to fill this hole inside
I can't survive without آپ here
سے طرف کی my side
Until you're mine, not gonna be
Even close to complete
I won't rest until you're mine

Alone inside, I can only hear
your voice
Ringing through the noise

Can't fight my mind, keeps on
coming back to you
Always back to you

Wanted something out of reach...
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Logical reasons...
why Harry Potter v.s Twilight


Hi! I'm Cinnominbubble and I have noticed the war between fandoms have been going on for a while with no clear outcome. There is a reason to this-We are stubborn. Twihards want to stick up for Stephanie Meyer, whilst Potterheads want to do the same for J. K. Rowling. But, I have noticed something. Many of our reasonings aren't exactly logical. I mean, not to be offensive, some of our strongest points are downright idiotic!(from both sides) I'd like to come up with some smarter points to help people see our side of the story, whatever...
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Chapter One
A Slight exaggeration
Mr Higgins was one of those people آپ just didn’t want to annoy – آپ know the type. Ever met someone like that? If so you’ll be familiar with my situation. Like I said, آپ just didn’t want to پار, صلیب Mr Higgins. When he was angry, he made sure everyone knew about it - like the time he broke the door. Jenny had asked for an eraser. Big mistake. He went berserk! He gave Mark a zero in a history test because Mark had forgotten to brush his teeth. But that was nothing. He threw a board rubber across the classroom at Tom; Tom ducked, so it hit the computer...
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posted by australia-101
Desktop Fun Prank

This works best on someone without much computer knowledge. If آپ know of someone who is constantly talking about how stupid their PC is, یا always seem to be lucky enough to get the newest virus before anyone else...this trick is for them.

You will need:

- Access to their computer
- Ability to take screenshots, change desktop wallpaper, and other basic computer skills

How this prank works:
You take a screenshot of someone's desktop (with یا without apps running یا photoshopping "enhancements"), than place that image as their desktop wallpaper. If آپ are decent with using photoshop...
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#7. The Lion King: To Be Successful, Sometimes People Got to Die

Simba always knew that he was going to succeed his father, Mufasa, as the اگلے Lion King. But fate liked spitting in poor little Simba's face, and his dear old dad got trampled to death سے طرف کی wildebeests. Of course, Mufasa's death was really caused سے طرف کی the evil Scar, Simba's uncle.
Later, all grown up, he reclaims his thrown and Scar suffers the double whammy of falling off a cliff and getting torn apart سے طرف کی hyenas. So after two particularly nasty and horrendous deaths, Simba finally becomes the lion king.
The Supposed Message:
We all...
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posted by brooki
"She couldn't get out of bed. Couldn't find the will to even check her phone, with no new texts یا emails. Lately it had felt like breathing was too much of an effort. Everything was too much, too hard, too much for her to handle. How had this happened? It seemed like one دن she woke up, and it hit her. Life wasn't worth living anymore. School had taken over her life, the drama she chose to ignore was getting out of control. Somehow she'd slipped through the cracks, while making sure she didn't fall off the cliff. Her دوستوں hadn't even noticed that she wasn't there when they looked into...
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posted by edwardcarlisle
Step1: Add 18 to your birth month.

Step2: Multiply سے طرف کی 25.

Step3: Subtract 333.

Step4: Multiply سے طرف کی 8.

step5: Subtract 554.

step6: Divide سے طرف کی 2.

step7: Add your birth date.

step8: Multiply سے طرف کی 5.

step9: Add 692.

step10: Multiply سے طرف کی 20.

step11: Add only the last two digits of your birth year.

step12: Subtract 32940 to get your birthday!

The number that آپ get will be a 6-digit number. Example: If آپ get the number 120586, then آپ were born December 5, 1986.

Full credits to: did-you-kno
Just reading some of the Terminator Quotes through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!

Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash دن tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.

I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. آپ might get annoyed سے طرف کی it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
posted by invadercalliope
Ok time to start!
1."Bart,with $10,000,we'd be millionaires!We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
2."I'm an excellent house keeper.Every time I get a divorce,I keep the house."
3."He dreamed he was eating shreadded wheat and woke up and found his mattress half gone."
4."The way taxes are,you might as well marry for love."
5."I hope life isn't a big joke because i don't get it."
6."Half of the people inthe world are below average."
1.Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
2.I've tried yoga,but i find stress less boring.
3."Cheese...milk's leap toward immortality."
4."Love is grand;divorce is a hundred grand."
5."Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day."
6."Procrastination gives آپ something to look آگے to."
The End